[cogladaid]

Hi everyone. For years I’ve been messed up.

First I was treated for depression. I was self harming and starving myself and generally felt depressed. Hints of pulling out my hair and obsessive hand washing. Some antidepressants would make me stay awake for days and run on highs. I suggest to my doctor at the time I might be bipolar but he brushed it off.

Then came the mild psychosis. Paranoia and delusions. I was on an antipsychotic and eventually it went away.

On and off for the last six years after that I’ve had episodes of starving myself and self harming and paranoia and delusions, but nothing that lasted very long.

Then last year the paranoia and delusions came back. The disordered eating came back. My mood worsened.

I was given an antidepressant and it made me have a highly elevated mood. My doctor (new doctor in the last couple years) wrote it down as possible bipolar. I was evaluated by a psychiatrist and they agree with a bipolar II diagnosis.

I’m on Latuda which helps keep away the paranoia and delusions, but my moods shift. I’m impulsive. Hair cutting. I’m self harming again. I took an overdose a couple weeks ago and didn’t tell anyone.

My doctor is worried about me and is thinking of changing my meds to lithium.

In all of this I post on another section on here about psychosis and a couple people suggested I might have BPD. Whether instead of bipolar or in addition.

I get impulsive. My moods shift. I get obsessive with people and with things. I thought maybe I might have bipolar or schizoaffective along with an eating disorder and maybe OCD or trich, but I’ve been reading about BPD and I’m not sure. Some things make sense, but some things don’t.

I see my doctor in about two weeks again and I’m going to mention this idea to him but I was just looking for some feedback.

Any thoughts?

[Candy1955]

My daughter has BPD. It is pretty hard to diagnose, took them about 7 years. Do you ever 'lose time'? Or have episodes where it is more like you are watching yourself rather than being yourself? Please suggest this to your doctor as you may need an evaluation. I hope you find a way to cope with all this and feel better. Hang on and keep trying.

[cogladaid]

Originally Posted by Candy1955

My daughter has BPD. It is pretty hard to diagnose, took them about 7 years. Do you ever 'lose time'? Or have episodes where it is more like you are watching yourself rather than being yourself? Please suggest this to your doctor as you may need an evaluation. I hope you find a way to cope with all this and feel better. Hang on and keep trying.

I have had some moments of not recognizing myself in the mirror but that mostly went along with delusional thoughts (people on the other side of the mirror stealing my image).

I remember one incident several years ago I was at work and felt overwhelmed and felt myself floating like I was watching myself interact with the person in front of me. It’s only happened a few times and hasn’t happened in years. I also sort of brushed it off as just being overwhelmed and full of anxiety.

I will for sure bring this up to my doctor, thank you for replying.

[The_little_didgee]

Antidepressants can cause mania in people who don't bipolar disorder. It has happened to me twice. I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder by a consulting psychiatrist. I don't agree with it because I never had a spontaneous mania. My regular psychiatrist also agrees with me.

What motivates you to self-harm, drink etc? Is it interpersonal?

Do you struggle with your identity?

Severe anxiety and stress can cause psychotic symptoms. One can develop psychosis without having schizophrenia. Are you using illicit drugs? Some prescription medications can cause psychotic-like symptoms, especially if they make you drowsy (hypnagogic hallucinations). People usually have insight when this happens.

[cogladaid]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Antidepressants can cause mania in people who don't bipolar disorder. It has happened to me twice. I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder by a consulting psychiatrist. I don't agree with it because I never had a spontaneous mania. My regular psychiatrist also agrees with me.

What motivates you to self-harm, drink etc? Is it interpersonal?

Do you struggle with your identity?

Severe anxiety and stress can cause psychotic symptoms. One can develop psychosis without having schizophrenia. Are you using illicit drugs? Some prescription medications can cause psychotic-like symptoms, especially if they make you drowsy (hypnagogic hallucinations). People usually have insight when this happens.

I’m not sure exactly what causes me to drink and self harm. I feel wrong or upset and I need a release. At times I feel dead inside.

I have struggled with my identity in the past. I don’t know about my future or where I stand. I try not to worry too much but I have struggled before.

I don’t use illicit drugs. Only medication I’ve been on in the last year is an antipsychotic because of my paranoia and delusions. I’ve thought about stress being a factor with my psychotic symptoms but this last episode has been constant for about a year.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by cogladaid

I’m not sure exactly what causes me to drink and self harm. I feel wrong or upset and I need a release. At times I feel dead inside.

I have struggled with my identity in the past. I don’t know about my future or where I stand. I try not to worry too much but I have struggled before.

I don’t use illicit drugs. Only medication I’ve been on in the last year is an antipsychotic because of my paranoia and delusions. I’ve thought about stress being a factor with my psychotic symptoms but this last episode has been constant for about a year.

I didn’t know about self-harm such as cutting, etc., until I was institutionalized. I understand feeling dead inside and I wonder if you’re trying to actually come alive and feel something good when you drink and self-harm? To escape the wrong and upset feelings and, particularly, to awaken from the dead?

I wonder, in my old age, if I have an identity. I’m going back to gradual (pun) school this fall and I hope to become <<something>> again. I was always a good student, maybe I will be, again. I was in school for 25 years, a long run. Maybe I’ll enjoy being a student again.

Paranoia can be present with BPD, but not psychosis. My psychosis is pretty horrific but it’s part of my schizoaffective disorder.

Yeah, you need to see a shrink. I believe that the right medications can help. I also believe that talking about the crap helps, too.

Good luck, get help, don’t harm yourself, okay?