[Eracgirl]

Hello. I recently had a baby with my boyfriend. I have lived with him for a year . I am trying to make this work but believe he has a personality disorder that he will not admit to . I wanted to see if anyone else have experienced these symptoms and can guide me in how to help him so we can stay together. I’ll try to make it short
He never liked my 17 year old son . He would pick on him for everything. A piece of paper on the floor . Called him names accused him of stealing and even made him walk 3 hours after school to meet friends . He stated he did this to make him a man and that my son was a jerk . My son moved out and the accusations of missing items continued this time with my 14 daughter. There was pills he found in her book bag . I believe he planted them . Before this he loved my daughter to the point he even kept her home from school and blocked the schools number so I didn’t know . Now he blames it all on my daughter. He took a lie decetor (his idea) and failed . The questions ranged from did you lie about items missing to get kids in trouble ? He claimed it has hard for him to understand that’s why he failed . His love for me is amazing . Totally obessed with having a family and always loves me . He is controlling but I can deal with that . He did dissect one of our pets (lizard) when it died( I think he killed it too) . Anyone see something like this ? Please help

[AzulOscuro]

I don’t think you want to live in a hell like this.
He seems to me exactly what he called your son, a jerk.
I have no doubt he may love you but in a very unhealthy way for you.
He needs help to learn how to treat people properly. It’s something that only depends on him. Consider that when someone goes to get help with a professional, his will is key.

[Lemoncake]

Having a mental illness is not an excuse for this kind of behavior and it doesn't sound like a safe or healthy relationship.

He says he loves you yet is displaying abusive behavior towards your children.

[Bill3]

Keeping your daughter home from school was not a sign that he loves her. And obviously blocking the school’s number was not a sign that he loves her.

To love a child is to want that child to grow and develop, not to imprison her for one’s own gratification.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I agree with the others, I'm afraid.

I grew up in a home with a male parent like this, and it was horrible.

I'm sorry, but I think you're being incredibly selfish and blind, to put your romantic relationship with this man ahead of your kids.

If you're about to say that he's going to change, and get help, well I don't want to hear it.

If you break off all ties with him now (but with a carefully worked-out exit plan to make sure you're safe) your children might still find it in their hearts to forgive you. But, it might already be too late.

[nicoleflynn]

He is abusive; hope you will get help. Abusers rarely change. What he is doing is NOt LOVE, but abuse and control. You are modeling behavior/teaching your children that is it is okay to live with abuse.

YOU cannot help him; he has issues he needs to work on and abusers rarely admit to their abuse. He needs therapy for himself; abusers rarely seek help because they feel they are always right.

Keeping your daughter home from school is NOt about love...but control. Killing pets is a huge red flag. In all liklihood, if you stay with him he will eventually abuse your baby.

Forcing a child to walk miles and miles.....doesn't make anyone a man. He is very ignorant and dangerous.

[Unrigged64072835]

I've had a relationship like that for four years. He nearly ruined me and my daughter.

It took going to a therapist who specialized in domestic violence to say I was in an abusive relationship. And once that happened I got out of that real fast.

I'm now in a great relationship and my daughter has turned around.

Don't stick around with this guy, for your kids' sake and your own.