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#1
May 19, 2018, 02:05 PM
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hi everyone, i'm 42 and i've had bpd my whole life. i was misdiagnosed up until 5 years ago,
i used to have a lot of destructive friendships and relationships. when i realized i needed to cut them out of my life, all the drama stopped and i felt pretty good about standing up for myself. but now i feel empty. without the drama for me to worry about, act upon, fret over, i have nothing. i should be relaxed, or at peace having good friendships, but there's just an emptiness inside that scares the **** out of me. this then leads to my 'identity crisis'. i've always hitched myself to these people: dressing how they dress, listening to their music... and i'm struggling, being 'on my own'. i'm glad i found this message board, as the last 2 therapists (who said they understood bpd) did not understand bpd. i'm glad i can come here to vent, or learn, and to be around like minded folks. how do you deal with the feelings of emptiness and despair? |
 Anonymous47864, AzulOscuro, Fuzzybear, giddykitty, miss_rainy, mote.of.soul, Skeezyks
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 giddykitty, miss_rainy
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#2
May 20, 2018, 02:50 PM
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Hi Jess and
 to Psych Central!How do I deal with the emptiness and despair? I started being creative with that energy I used to spend on other people. I write, take photos, make music... I also learned from dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) what to do when I feel those things. Stuff like volunteering, distraction, self-soothing, acting opposite (instead of feeling empty I went to feeling fulfilled, and did things to make my life more fulfilling). I did things that gave me satisfaction in doing in of itself. I also learned to love myself: getting good sleep, exercise, good food, etc. along with a treat or two. |
| giddykitty, jessdb
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#3
May 20, 2018, 02:54 PM
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Hello jess: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!
Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of interest:https://psychcentral.com/disorders/b...ng-with/?all=1 https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-emo...lity-disorder/ https://psychcentral.com/lib/dealing...lity-disorder/ https://psychcentral.com/lib/dialect...isorder/?all=1 https://psychcentral.com/loneliness/ I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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#4
May 24, 2018, 06:22 PM
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thank you
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#5
May 24, 2018, 06:23 PM
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i appreciate it
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#6
May 28, 2018, 06:42 PM
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Yes.. the void is awful 😟
__________________
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#7
May 31, 2018, 09:53 PM
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I can relate Jess. Once you see the drama you create to cover up real feelings you don’t want to face, you can’t “unsee” it. It can leave you feeling quite lost but it’s a great starting point right? I intend to start DBT. I believe there’s a workbook for it.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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