Telling people that you have bpd

Who do you tell that you have bpd ? What are people's reactions if you do tell them ? I don't tell many . I mostly tell people I have depression which i do have but I don't tell many people that I have bpd .

Don't tell anyone with or without a MI. There is way too much stigma and it would be a nightmare from my experience.

Only my husband, daughter, and hospital staff know.

My mom and brother = Complete and total denial of the diagnosis, but not of the symptoms that make it up. (Then again, my mother calls me a hypochondriac for researching this stuff and she's the whole reason I have BPD so the reaction isn't really a surprise.)

Best friend #1 = He lives 3 hours away so he doesn't get to see how I am on a day-to-day basis. His inital reaction was disbelief but when I pointed out how the symptoms are true to me, he began to accept it. While he hasn't said much about it since then (although I know he doesn't deny iI have it), that says a lot because it's not exactly in line with his culture to agree with psych issues.

Best friend #2 (my Favorite Person at the time but I've since cut him from my life) = He was always a positive person so while he had to think about it at first, he got really happy for me afterwards. Like me, he believed that you can't fix a problem until you know what it is so since I finally found the right problem he was excited to find a fix. He also saw how I was on a day-to-day basis so it didn't take any convincing or explaining with him.

However! The first time I had a major instantaneous mood flip in front of Best Friend #2 (about 2 years before my BPD diagnosis; I went from relaxed in bed to screaming my head off), his initial reaction was an aghast look of fear and that look is forever burned into my brain.

Besides these 4, only doctors know. I avoid telling doctors unless it's relevant for treatment. (Example: My eye doctor doesn't need to know.)

My suggestion: Trust the people you tell and only do so with others if it's unavoidable. I'm usually an open book but this label is so stigmatized that I don't want to chance it. Besides, seeing Beat Friend #2's face of terror that one time has scarred me so that I'll do just about anything to keep from seeing it again.

I'm sorry you had that experience. Everyone in my life knows my diagnosis. The people closest to me have done a lot of reading about them and been very supportive. I have no problem losing anyone who cant accept me for who I am.

Bottom line: do what makes you happy.

Wow, if I came off that I lost people because of my diagnosis then I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention because it's not true. I essentially "lost" my mother years before because of something she did... And she also is older, coming from a generation that didn't believe in getting help psych help, that you just push through your iasues and hide them as deep as possible. I cut out Best Friend #2 about 2 years after he found out about my psych issues and after 3 major screw ups on his part (such as him promising for months to help me recover from surgery but in a last minute decision, he ended up going on vacation with his girlfriend instead).

Neither of the broken relationships I mentioned had anything to do with my diagnosis. The only negative was Best Friend #2's initial reaction... I warned him my moods switched super fast (to avoid exactly what happened) but he was just sitting there relaxing in bed with me and he didn't understand the gravity of his inappropriate joke, which I started yelling at him for. Maybe it was just his pure surprise at my strong diasapproval to his joke, I don't know.

Regardless, making someone think that telling a handful of people about my diagnosis caused the relationships to break wasn't my goal.

Sorry if I misunderstood. It was late and I had taken my meds. No offense intended. Cheers.

You're very brave

I don’t want to talk to anybody about anything mental health related. I’m just not comfortable with the stigma.

Very few people know I have BPD. If I have to tell anyone about my mental health I tend to just say it’s depression and don’t go into the details. I am recently becoming a bit more open with the fact I have a mental illness, just because it gets too exhausting to try and hide it all the time. I spent years hiding it from everyone and that didn’t work out too well for me.

I didn't take offense -- I wqs more worried you took offense! So I guess it's all good.

I've only told a small handful of people. My mom knows because she initiated the therapy when I was still under 18. I've told a couple of friends who insisted that it was ok for me to open up to them. No one ever knows what it is, I have to explain it, which is never fun. I've also learned the hard way not to tell people things like that, even if I think they're trustworthy, because it can backfire or they just end up forgetting about it or pushing it to the side anyways.

I don't tell anyone I have BPD. I may disclose a few symptoms to new people in my life so they aren't surprised by some things I may say/do but it's usually along the lines of me disappearing since I typically go into hiding when I'm having BPD issues and I will not respond or contact people for a while.