[Bamboo_RedPanda]

I'm always trying to understand things much more deeply, and I fluctuate between wondering if bpd explains me and my behaviors and patterns and thinking that I'm fine. It's a mess. I read through the symptom list and I try to understand what they mean in more depth.

There's one I'm curious to understand other's perspectives on, the symptom of "identity disturbance," with the whole unstable self-image or sense of self. See, I know what I think it means in regards to myself. For example, I often think I'm a sponge, that I take on traits of other people, even briefly, without meaning to because my brain thinks they're more interesting than me so I need to change. This culminated in an entire phase in high school when all I wore was black and all I listened to was heavier rock music (which I don't even like anymore and didn't like before this phase), and now it fluctuates depending on who I'm finding most interesting at the given time. I'm pretty sure this is one of the main reasons I shut down my facebook, I kept comparing myself to other people and how my life wasn't like theirs, and I felt awful.

Is it like that? What are your perspectives and experiences, if you feel comfortable sharing?

[ShadowGX]

I think it differs from person to person for sure what their personal definition of that would be. In your case, I would say the sponge thing is definitely an "identity disturbance" because it is "disturbing" your true "identity".

Personally, I have done the sponge thing. Not to any real extremes that I'm aware, though now that I think about it that could explain why when I was younger I took on the interests of my younger brother since he was the only real constant in my life (until we moved to Michigan and he got a circle of friends and I got left behind). I do truly enjoy those things even now though, more than him, so while it might be why I ended up liking those things I think it's true of my real self. I've also shifted my personality around a lot in the last 15 years, some of this based on what traits I've seen people exhibit that I wanted to adopt and eventually was able to, some just based on what I think I need at the time or what might compliment my current friends well.

[MobiusPsyche]

Just because you had a phase in high school that no longer fits with who you are, that's not necessarily identity disturbance because lots of people have that.

But if you can identify this as an ongoing pattern as an adult, then it might be identity disturbance.

Feeling like you take on preferences or tastes because someone you like or admire has those tastes is a sign of identity disturbance, as is lacking a core sense of self in terms of values, life goals, priorities, etc. But changing tastes can just mean you're eclectic or like variety so I tend to look more at things like values and life goals. If those are changing frequently, like wanting to go into the Peace Corp one day and wanting to be a business executive the next week, that would concern me.

Liking rock music one day and country music the next would not necessarily be a red flag I think.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Bamboo_RedPanda

... phase in high school when all I wore was black and all I listened to was heavier rock music (which I don't even like anymore and didn't like before this phase).

It's not unusual for teenagers to "try on" personalities in their search to discover who they are.