New and Rattled!! What should I expect with this Dx?

Haha hello!! I was recently diagnosed! Well, it was a bit odd. I was long ago misdiagnosed as bipolar, then I had a "suicide attempt," went into heavy denial and extreme boredom for like a year, watched a show about BPD, became obsessed with it because it seems to fit me to a T and explains everything I've ever thought! So I panicked, started having symptoms again like I had a year ago, don't wanna backslide and made an appointment with a real life therapist! Who I haven't seen yet. I was diagnosed by the intake coordinator. Does that still count as a real diagnosis? I mean we talked for 2 hours about why I think I'm borderline and it's literally her job to diagnose people, but idk. I feel like I didn't do enough. It's fine.

Anyway I'm terrified to be back in therapy!! It'll probably be good but part of me really doesn't wanna confront this stuff. Also kinda wanna go off the rails again because it sounds fun. But! I have a relationship I don't wanna ruin and a lot of good stuff going on that I don't wanna f--- up! So here we are.

Sorry about the tmi backstory! I just really want to talk about the situation with other people who maybe understand. Also! What can I expect treatment-wise? Were you guys terrified to start treatment also? Do you get worse before you get better? What's it like? Has anyone had any experiences similar to mine? Or just any experiences? What is BPD like for you?

I know this post is a little all over the place but please bear with me. I just wanna hear your thoughts on like... any of this!! Ily thank you!!! Xx

Also, I'm Shay!! 21 and in Slc, ut!

Welcome to PsychCentral! Some abbreviations you might see around here are PC for PsychCentral, T for therapist, and pdoc for psychiatrist.
—Meow

If you don't "confront the stuff" it will keep coming back. I would recommend seeing a theapist. Therapy is the hardest work you will ever do, but so valuable and important. Your life is worth it!

I don't believe that things must get worse before they get better. There will definitely be bumps in the road but you can make forward progress. Therapy will be difficult because it forces you to look at some things you probably don't like about yourself but therapy is really the only way to get better with BPD
Give your therapist a chance, don't give up right away, it takes time to see results.

And bpd presents differently in every person so just because you don't meet ALL the criteria, don't dismiss the diagnosis. Sure there are probably some people who have worse or more symptoms than you but that doesn't make your diagnosis any less real.

It's possible to make a good diagnosis based on a thorough history in two hours, as long as you were brutally honest with the intake worker, but the fact that you seem to believe you have bpd before the diagnostic interview might skew things a bit. I would wait until you've seen your therapist for a while, like 4 to 6 months, and then ask her for a diagnosis. I'd have more faith in that one tip be honest.

This board doesn't always see a lot of traffic so don't get discouraged if your post doesn't have a ton of responses.

Welcome