[giddykitty]

Does it mean or include feeling like you can't do anything without a person encouraging you or having a muse of sorts??

What does this "emptiness" quality look like to you?

Emptiness for me is a sadness about the senseless problems in my life and in the world in general. Senseless pain and hurt people put each other through. Some of it is my own doing through my own mistakes and some of it is not my fault.

[ShadowGX]

Hmm, I don't know if what you said would be emptiness for me, but it is something I experience. I definitely work better with encouragement.

For me emptiness is just that - nothing. I feel nothing, do nothing, just a whole lot of nothing. Luckily I don't feel truly empty very often, but I do constantly feel like something is missing for me. For me, that's someone I can be close with. I don't have that. I have a couple of people that I can sort of rely on, and I'm grateful for that, but not quite what I need so I do feel emptiness in that part of me.

[MobiusPsyche]

Emptiness is the feeling that I could disappear entirely and it wouldn't matter to anyone.

[giddykitty]

wow! quite a variety of responses here. interesting! and yet very sad. Sorry for anyone feeling these things. ((((hugs))))

[MDDBPDPTSD]

Emptiness for me is feeling like I don’t know who I am. Like if I could see inside the real me I would not recognize that person because I don’t understand my own identity.
I survive this by hiding.
My adult daughter with BPD survives it by pretending to be just like the person she is with. That serves several purposes for her. She gets to hide her constant identity crisis and also temporarily makes that person her friend, until they see her explode a couple times. Then they move on.
Anyway, I hope this helps.

That’s an interesting question. For me, its mostly just being on autopilot. Im neither happy nor sad. Going through the motions as expected, but not really experiencing it. So i try and keep myself busy doing a million things at once, just to stay present and not fall into that.

[Unrigged64072835]

Emptiness for me is like nothing I had done, do, or will do will matter to anyone. I'm just here taking up space.

[MDDBPDPTSD]

I just had an experience that may give us some insight into emptiness. I tend to see myself as those around me reflect back to me, I guess because I have problems establishing my own identity. To illustrate I am gonna tell you what just happened. My neighbors live in a townhouse as do I and their ceiling from their first floor caved in so that all of their stuff from The second floor was in their living room and kitchen. There was some sort of water issue. They are financially struggling anyway, with two little girls to raise. So I decided that I wanted to help them, and in one of my Facebook groups I posted a request for some items I knew that they needed. I felt good about that. But now, I feel really really bad about it.

One lady responded and said that she had a gift card and some toys. She asked to meet with the neighbors directly. Which is fine, except they aren’t in the apartment because it’s under construction again due to the damage. Additionally they both work very long hours on the weekend. The lady with the toys and gift card then suggests the possibility that I wasn’t on the up and up. She didn’t feel comfortable giving me the items and the gift card because it might not get to them.

Now this lady doesn’t know me. She just wants some assurances that what I’m saying is accurate before she gives her money. That’s pretty reasonable really. But it makes me feel like trash. I feel like garbage because she thought that I might not be genuine. I shouldn’t have my entire self esteem destroyed so easily. So what if she’s reflecting negativity on my character. That’s not what my character is, right? To me this is not really a feeling of emptiness but this feeling stems from the root of emptiness that’s in me. Do you know what I mean?

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD

I just had an experience that may give us some insight into emptiness. I tend to see myself as those around me reflect back to me, I guess because I have problems establishing my own identity. To illustrate I am gonna tell you what just happened. My neighbors live in a townhouse as do I and their ceiling from their first floor caved in so that all of their stuff from The second floor was in their living room and kitchen. There was some sort of water issue. They are financially struggling anyway, with two little girls to raise. So I decided that I wanted to help them, and in one of my Facebook groups I posted a request for some items I knew that they needed. I felt good about that. But now, I feel really really bad about it.

One lady responded and said that she had a gift card and some toys. She asked to meet with the neighbors directly. Which is fine, except they aren’t in the apartment because it’s under construction again due to the damage. Additionally they both work very long hours on the weekend. The lady with the toys and gift card then suggests the possibility that I wasn’t on the up and up. She didn’t feel comfortable giving me the items and the gift card because it might not get to them.

Now this lady doesn’t know me. She just wants some assurances that what I’m saying is accurate before she gives her money. That’s pretty reasonable really. But it makes me feel like trash. I feel like garbage because she thought that I might not be genuine. I shouldn’t have my entire self esteem destroyed so easily. So what if she’s reflecting negativity on my character. That’s not what my character is, right? To me this is not really a feeling of emptiness but this feeling stems from the root of emptiness that’s in me. Do you know what I mean?

Been awhile since I've been on this site so sorry for the late reply. Ummm oh ok. So emptiness presents itself in your insecurity about your character? I guess i get that. I definitely can relate to the insecurity...maybe I am empty. I follow religious law (I don't usually bring this up on forums but it helps illustrate), and that gives me guidance, but like I don't have any interest in anythi g unless someone else finds it I interesting (maybe that's the truth? I'm not too sure. All I know is I have trouble making up my mind and or coming up with ideas on my own. :/ need outside stimulus if you will

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD

My adult daughter with BPD survives it by pretending to be just like the person she is with. That serves several purposes for her. She gets to hide her constant identity crisis and also temporarily makes that person her friend, until they see her explode a couple times. Then they move on.

Yeah, that's about what I was taking about

[The_little_didgee]

During my last depressive illness, I experienced no emotions, and a strange feeling that I had no internal organs. This worried me, sometimes to the point of panic. It literally felt like my torso was empty and filled with air. Sometimes I felt like I was falling at a high rate of speed, even though I wasn't. It was really bizarre.

I was an empty shell.

[ThunderGoddess]

When I'm feeling that emptiness I feel like my body disintegrates it's like I'm just air, no thoughts, no feelings. I agree with goodquestion it feels like I'm on autopilot. I can still do everyday things I'm just more like a robot than a human.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Anonymous47864

Emptiness for me is a sadness about the senseless problems in my life and in the world in general. Senseless pain and hurt people put each other through. Some of it is my own doing through my own mistakes and some of it is not my fault.

I think this is a good description of the mindless senseless stuff in the world ... a lot of this is caused by people who lack empathy imo (they feel the most alone of all and so lash out to make themselves feel better. How sad and bullies carry so much fear they have to try to dump that on others in sneaky mean ways not about anyone here)