[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by willowtigger

The whole forum loves a bluebird

Thanks willow, the whole forum loves willowtigger too

How are you doing?

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having a cuddle with younger cat Willow before i go to my mum's

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by willowtigger

having a cuddle with younger cat Willow before i go to my mum's

That’s great

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[Blue_Bird]

I start my volunteer job tomorrow. I’m nervous but also really excited. I kind of wish today would hurry up and be over with so it can be tomorrow already so I can start.

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I start my volunteer job tomorrow. I’m nervous but also really excited. I kind of wish today would hurry up and be over with so it can be tomorrow already so I can start.

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Good luck blue

[Blue_Bird]

Just wanted to update that today is my 3rd day at the volunteer job (it's every Tuesday, once a week this is my 3rd week) today will be my first day doing it on my own. I'm enjoying it a lot. It's fun to meet the different cats there every week and take care of them.

Tonight I'm going to the movie theater to see John Wick 4 with my friend.

I was dissociating a lot for a few weeks but it's gotten better the past several days.

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[-Astral-]

I am a live at this moment at lest

worried about Tigger's hip thats injured

she'll get cancer in it and it'll get to her brain then i'll die as well cause it'll prove fatal, Tigger dying will be fatal for me cause i know this to be fact

[Blue_Bird]

Hello been some time since I posted in here. Hope you all are well.

Im still dealing with a lot of dissociation , paranoia, and impulsivity. I may look into it and see if there’s any groups near where I live for people struggling with this disorder

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[Blue_Bird]

Oh yeah I forgot to mention I’m still volunteering with the place I mentioned in previous posts on this thread, with the cats. It’s going well. I love meeting all the kitties, taking care of them, and playing with them. One time I got extremely dissociated during it because it was an extremely stressful day. One of the cats was acting up and I didn’t know what to do. I texted the lady in charge of the organization (I’m always the only person there, aside from the actual employees in petsmart) and she told me what to do and I was able to do it and got the cat down from up above the cages near the ceiling (she wouldn’t come down and kept hissing and screaming if I tried to take her down

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Oh yeah I forgot to mention I’m still volunteering with the place I mentioned in previous posts on this thread, with the cats. It’s going well. I love meeting all the kitties, taking care of them, and playing with them. One time I got extremely dissociated during it because it was an extremely stressful day. One of the cats was acting up and I didn’t know what to do. I texted the lady in charge of the organization (I’m always the only person there, aside from the actual employees in petsmart) and she told me what to do and I was able to do it and got the cat down from up above the cages near the ceiling (she wouldn’t come down and kept hissing and screaming if I tried to take her down

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Aww i hope she was okay and i hope you didnt get scratched or bit

Jackson Galaxy has some good stuff on youtube, if you need cat tips

[iscreamparty]

Dissociated. Have to manage to drive to PHP though.

[MuddyBoots]

Funny but vulgar so I'll put it in a trigger box

Possible trigger:

Life sucks a **** but you're the mf throat GOAT.

found my will to live for five whole minutes

[iscreamparty]

I don't really want to go back to my old job as a vet assist. I took some time off to get some depression under control, and now I don't want to go back. I want to become a pediatric nurse. I'm already looking at classes. Stickers for all!

[MuddyBoots]

@iscreamparty do you find in Boston your treatment providers treat you like absolute shyt for having BPD and the things you do because of it? I'm getting state treatment in NH and since I got dx'd my treatment has gone down the crapper and I'm looking to move out of state (thinking MA or RI).

[iscreamparty]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

@iscreamparty do you find in Boston your treatment providers treat you like absolute shyt for having BPD and the things you do because of it? I'm getting state treatment in NH and since I got dx'd my treatment has gone down the crapper and I'm looking to move out of state (thinking MA or RI).

I'm new to the diagnosis and treatment in general, and my therapist specializes in BPD, so far I have not encountered any sort of stigma or poor treatment. My therapist says it's really good that I'm in treatment trying to get better.

[MuddyBoots]

Maybe my team is just pissed because for a few months I was self-destructing to death with no desire to stop. I haven't really seen my regular T/CW/pdoc lately so maybe now that I'm in "recovery mode" for the 649324x, they'll consider me a human again. Or they'll just see it as "she's just giving another half assed attempt to get better for the 649324th time."

"Don't confront me with my failures/I had not forgotten them."- Jackson Browne

[iscreamparty]

I am dreading work today. Animal hospital's going under new management so I'm expected to attend a meeting about it and some new duties. I'm just telling them I quit. I can't deal with seeing half the crap I see anymore.

[iscreamparty]

I had a chance to sleep in because I told them I wouldn't be working under new management, so they said this morning they were supposed to explain/train me, but since now they don't have to, they won't and I don't have to be in until noon.

Two weeks left. I can do this. I'll think of dissociation as a superpower.

[MuddyBoots]

This is me rn. I thought I had a bad flu and my doc was freaking out like "your liver is not livering" or something. Went to an AA meeting, found an old friend from IOP who had an extra ticket to a show and invited me so we went to his place where he drank like a whole bottle of tequila then drove us to the show (super bad I know but he wouldn't let me drive his truck and I had been getting rides everywhere for like a week now because I'm not trusted ). My mom is piss testing me again because I've been picking the hell out of my face, hands, arms, anywhere accessible really (med side effects I think?). I'm on like day 11 of my second period in two years too so that's definitely normal. I'm just going with the flow.