[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

How are you @Blue_Bird?

I'm so glad to see that there's a bit of activity on this thread. I haven't been diagnosed with BPD/EUPD, but I know I have a few traits. It seems to me that anyone who experienced chronic childhood trauma has at least some BPD traits. And so often bipolar disorder and BPD overlap.

I've always been confused by the "chronic feelings of emptiness" as one of the symptoms of BPD. I don't think I have that feeling, but then again I don't understand exactly what "feelings of emptiness" means. Can someone here describe it?

Hey Beth I'm doing well I am not sure about what the emptiness feeling means either, but maybe it means like never feeling fufilled? Like I know some common issues with this disorder are binge eating/bulimia,, overspending, substance abuse, etc I wonder if it has something to do with trying to fill a void one may subconsciously feel in ones life

At least, that's my experience. My psychiatrist is hesitant to diagnose me with it because I've improved so much over the years, so my diagnosis still stands as Schizoaffective disorder bipolar type but she did confirm that it's likely I have BPD, but am not nearly as symptomatic as I used to be. I used to be kind of a trainwreck with the impulsivity and stuff

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Hey Beth I'm doing well I am not sure about what the emptiness feeling means either, but maybe it means like never feeling fufilled? Like I know some common issues with this disorder are binge eating/bulimia,, overspending, substance abuse, etc I wonder if it has something to do with trying to fill a void one may subconsciously feel in ones life
...

I'm so glad you're doing well I think your therapy is really helping you.

Never feeling fulfilled sounds like a good description of emptiness and it also sounds like it would be a miserable feeling to have.

You posted a while back about the laundry, people leaving it sit in the washers. I hear you! What the heck. Once a tenant here left his laundry sitting in the washer for such a long time it got mildewy and stunk badly. I wondered if her just wandered in there 5 days later and dried the icky-smelling clothes. Gross.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I'm so glad you're doing well I think your therapy is really helping you.

Never feeling fulfilled sounds like a good description of emptiness and it also sounds like it would be a miserable feeling to have.

You posted a while back about the laundry, people leaving it sit in the washers. I hear you! What the heck. Once a tenant here left his laundry sitting in the washer for such a long time it got mildewy and stunk badly. I wondered if her just wandered in there 5 days later and dried the icky-smelling clothes. Gross.

Thanks yeah it is helping

Yeah it’s annoying when people do that. People are supposed to set timers on their phone or whatever to get their laundry promptly when it’s done or switch it over but people seem to always just leave stuff in there for hours. I just go tell security staff downstairs because that’s what we’re supposed to do. They’re allowed to remove the clothing if it’s been sitting there for an extended period of time and set it on one of the laundry tables, for whoever left it to get it

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks yeah it is helping

Yeah it’s annoying when people do that. People are supposed to set timers on their phone or whatever to get their laundry promptly when it’s done or switch it over but people seem to always just leave stuff in there for hours. I just go tell security staff downstairs because that’s what we’re supposed to do. They’re allowed to remove the clothing if it’s been sitting there for an extended period of time and set it on one of the laundry tables, for whoever left it to get it

It's great that security is there. I have actually removed laundry myself. We have 29 apartments and 4 washing machines/4 dryers.

[*Beth*]

Thank you for that article @The_little_didgee. I think I'm getting an idea of what "chronic emptiness" means. Also, I can now better understand why people SH...possibly to self-punish, but also to create a feeling. I think there are very subtle, but important, differences between expressing a feeling and attempting to create a feeling or experience that one is disconnected from.

On the BD subforum some of us have been discussing our desire for hypomania. Such a desire is sort-of like trying to create a feeling, but I think it's more of a desire to feel extremely good, like a feeling of being high. Again, the difference is subtle, but it's there.

A really good article. Also, I appreciate that you shared the way you felt when very depressed. It sounds miserable and a very scary experience for you. I'm happy to hear that you're doing much better.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Thank you for that article @The_little_didgee. I think I'm getting an idea of what "chronic emptiness" means. Also, I can now better understand why people SH...possibly to self-punish, but also to create a feeling. I think there are very subtle, but important, differences between expressing a feeling and attempting to create a feeling or experience that one is disconnected from.

On the BD subforum some of us have been discussing our desire for hypomania. Such a desire is sort-of like trying to create a feeling, but I think it's more of a desire to feel extremely good, like a feeling of being high. Again, the difference is subtle, but it's there.

A really good article. Also, I appreciate that you shared the way you felt when very depressed. It sounds miserable and a very scary experience for you. I'm happy to hear that you're doing much better.

I'm not an expert but there seems to be different reasons to self harm, such as dissociation, frustration, other overwhelming feelings, OCD, interpersonal conflict, lack of communication skills, major depression etc.... Sometimes medication can cause SI especially if they cause delirium and agitation.

Self injury (cutting skin) was once hidden and usually took place in the institutional setting. Apparently it was rare until the 1980s. I never heard of this until 1994 when I was in the hospital. Almost everyone there was doing it.

I can understand your desire to experience hypomania. When I started taking Cipralex it made me high for about 4 weeks. I liked the confidence it gave me, but it was hard to focus and stay on topic.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Hey Beth I'm doing well I am not sure about what the emptiness feeling means either, but maybe it means like never feeling fufilled? Like I know some common issues with this disorder are binge eating/bulimia,, overspending, substance abuse, etc I wonder if it has something to do with trying to fill a void one may subconsciously feel in ones life.

I think you answered the question.

For more information: How Do Patients With Borderline Personality Disorder Describe the Symptom of Chronic Emptiness? - Psychiatry Advisor

I remember experiencing a similar feeling when I got major depression about a decade ago. For about 6 weeks I felt nothing within myself. I could not feel any emotion. It was terrifying. It was as if my mind had cut itself off of my body. My belly felt like it was full of air and that there was nothing inside it. I barely ate because it felt like I was constantly falling. For awhile I thought intestinal parasites were the cause because they were crawling inside me.

The only way I could get myself to feel again was to watch graphic videos of accidents. It worked. I spent the entire day crying. After that the depression slowly receded.

I might have experienced something like the emptiness described in the article when I was unemployed and living off of social assistance. Sometimes I felt bored because I had nowhere to go and wondered about my purpose. It was an unpleasant feeling. I no longer feel this. Keeping busy and doing activities or working outside the home cured it.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

I think you answered the question.

For more information: How Do Patients With Borderline Personality Disorder Describe the Symptom of Chronic Emptiness? - Psychiatry Advisor

I remember experiencing a similar feeling when I got major depression about a decade ago. For about 6 weeks I felt nothing within myself. I could not feel any emotion. It was terrifying. It was as if my mind had cut itself off of my body. My belly felt like it was full of air and that there was nothing inside it. I barely ate because it felt like I was constantly falling. For awhile I thought intestinal parasites were the cause because they were crawling inside me.

The only way I could get myself to feel again was to watch graphic videos of accidents. It worked. I spent the entire day crying. After that the depression slowly receded.

I might have experienced something like the emptiness described in the article when I was unemployed and living off of social assistance. Sometimes I felt bored because I had nowhere to go and wondered about my purpose. It was an unpleasant feeling. I no longer feel this. Keeping busy and doing activities or working outside the home cured it.

Yeah I find myself often wondering about my purpose, feeling like I have no purpose etc I'm doing my best to keep busy though and am going to meet with a career readiness instructor next week to see if I want to take one of their career readiness workshops. So I'm hoping that will help get me ready for working part-time. I'm also going back to college part time at the end of August.

I live in a supportive housing apartment complex, so there's also a lot of activities and stuff in the building too for people to go to if they want, which has been helpful. Before this I was living in a 100% independent apartment and I did terribly because I isolated constantly and that made things worse mentally

I'm glad you're doing better now