[Jan1212]

All I can think is "the bad" about my fiance
During the past week:
We were playing with an app that lets you take your face picture and tag it on a body, he pointed out the female model ones and said "I want you to look like this, and this, and that..."
We saw a commercial for sensa and another diet fat-burning pill and said "Maybe you should try that"
Whenever a hot actress would show up or on Viictoria's secret catalog from his sister he would point out "OOh look at that" or "she's hot"
He would pinch my stomach, and shake it
We were watching this R rated movie, (he's in his late 20's) and he would jump and say "Boobies!" or "nice" in front of me, he would watch "uncomfortable guy movies" when he's with me, sometimes I had to get up and walk out the room, can't he choose more appropriate movies?

He is not that attractive himself, he's close to clinically underweight and he says " that's how people should look like"...

I want to look good, but not for him anymore, he's a jerk I've told him. I've talked with him how it bothers me so many times, he keeps doing it, he did it again. The thought in my head: 'I want to look good so I can find someone else' and I feel terrible thinking about that. I was always against people replying "just leave him and it's done" it's easy to say, but it's not that simple what else should I do?

[AngelWolf3]

I am sorry he is doing this to you! I had a best friend who did this to me, and I finally had to tell him that it was bothering me and if he kept talking like that/calling random people fat&ugly/etc. I was not going to hang out with him any more. (i know it is not that simple in your situation).

Does your fiance know that you suffer(ed) from an ED? If he does, remind him that you can only remove yourself so much, and that it would be helpful to you if he kept his comments to himself.

Luckily, he is not your husband, yet. I would definitely make sure that if he is not willing to work with you on this, that you want to continue towards the path of marriage. I am not telling you what to do, but definitely look at your options, and whether the good still outweighs the "bad."

Good luck...keep us posted. Hugs to you.

[nicoleflynn]

Unless he recognizes what he is doing is abusive and wants to stop it, he will never change. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans is a book that I believe should be required reading for everyone on the planet.

He is insecure and you cannot fix that or him. Yu will have to decide how long you are willing to be disrespected and abused.

[brokenandalone1234]

I am sorry but you need to leave him. No guy is worth being treated like that. Being underweight is not a good thing. He needs to be healthy himself before he can judge anyone else. He has no right to treat you like that. That is abusive. It is not physical but it is emotional and mentally abusive. You should never put up with that. You are setting yourself up to end up with an eating disorder because of it. You have a choice to make though either stay and have your self-esteem broken down or leave and gain self worth.

[MrsBee]

He is a jerk, and really it sounds like he needs a reality check AND to grow up by about twenty years.

There are better people out there, ones that are kind sweet and gentile.

You have to believe in yourself and the fact that you deserve better.

[WhiteCruelty]

Originally Posted by Jan1212

All I can think is "the bad" about my fiance
During the past week:
We were playing with an app that lets you take your face picture and tag it on a body, he pointed out the female model ones and said "I want you to look like this, and this, and that..."
We saw a commercial for sensa and another diet fat-burning pill and said "Maybe you should try that"
Whenever a hot actress would show up or on Viictoria's secret catalog from his sister he would point out "OOh look at that" or "she's hot"
He would pinch my stomach, and shake it
We were watching this R rated movie, (he's in his late 20's) and he would jump and say "Boobies!" or "nice" in front of me, he would watch "uncomfortable guy movies" when he's with me, sometimes I had to get up and walk out the room, can't he choose more appropriate movies?

He is not that attractive himself, he's close to clinically underweight and he says " that's how people should look like"...

I want to look good, but not for him anymore, he's a jerk I've told him. I've talked with him how it bothers me so many times, he keeps doing it, he did it again. The thought in my head: 'I want to look good so I can find someone else' and I feel terrible thinking about that. I was always against people replying "just leave him and it's done" it's easy to say, but it's not that simple what else should I do?

Possibly i could say you as well that, i would do usually "just leave him" but better i would say: If he wants a model, he only has to search her, but you are not, you are a normal girl and he chose being with you so.. why s...he has to do you responsible of that... As someone said before, that s the typical behaviour of an abusive person.
Other advice? You can not leave him, okey, so you have to PUT LIMITS. Stop him. PUT LIMITS.
When he says you things as those. just say: Hey boy, I am your girlfriend and if you are my boyfriend you have to say things as: I love you, you are so pretty.. and that type of things. If definitely i dont like you now, why are you with me? I dont go to change for you cause even changing, you will search other bad things on me. It is your personality, not my body. Hahahaha It sounds hard but...s the truth.

He has the problem. And you are good even if you are the most over- weight woman in the earth, always that you feel good in that way.It is not the body what does happy at girl, it is her mind.
Look some models...a lot of them, terribly depressed

Dump him. He is only going to get worse after you get married. Marriage never makes things better, it just amplifies things. Ive been married sixteen years, and have tons of married friends, and i would imagine that all of them would say the same thing. It will not improve.
Find someone that love you and accepts you for who you already are,

[crystalbleach]

He's an idiot and he clearly doesn't deserve you. No man or woman should ever say that about someone and for him to say that to his fiance is terrible. You are who you are and if he can't accept that then you shouldn't be with him. I'm not going to say leave him because I know it's not that simple. Talk to him once again and voice how you feel about him saying these things. Don't stand for it because you certainly don't deserve to be talked about in that way, you are worth way more than that.