It has been ____days since I purged.

Day 2. Feeling sad, so it's harder then. I used to turn to food for joy.

I suggest that you continue sitting with the sadness, rather than trying to extinguish it.

Thanks Bill3.

Day 2 complete.

Good work Anrea!

Made it through day 3. Felt like I overate, but when I wrote down everything as a whole, it really was a normal amount for an active person. I'm not active, but I mean, my idea of what over eating is and another persons idea might be different. Bulimia distorts our view of healthy quantities. I'm relearning what not hungry feels like - because it is a physical thing, not a mental thing.

Thanks for the update. You continue to do well!

Getting through day 1 again. I ate, not too much. I'm focusing on actual hunger, not mental hunger. I'm aware of the hours of the day that are triggers. When I got through 8 days, I got overly confident and stopped thinking this was a process. I stopped being mindful, and started slipping back into old habits. I went 6 days, then 8, then 3, and now I'm back again. I'm a bit discouraged, but holding that at bay. I can't think about the overall picture, or numbers. I need to be in the minute, in the day, and practice the steps that lead to success. Not restricting. Eat mindfully. Eat more scheduled, so it isn't an impulse. Continue to document which is a reward for myself. Today, I'm writing early, even though the day isn't done. Because I'm scared of food, and need to encourage myself. I will do this.

It is a process. Hang in there! You are doing well!

I did really good about eating 3 reasonable meals today, even though I wanted to binge all day. Then I ate too many cheez its. It's still just within the overeat category, and not the binge category, so I didn't need to purge. (I wanted too, after the cheez its, but I didn't) Day 2 complete.

Good job today!

Aced day 3. Didn't overeat. Didn't purge. Yay!

Great job!

Day 2 again. Quitting B/P is harder than I thought with all these slip ups. But I did really good again yesterday. I'm having more and more of these good days. I'm surprised how hard this is to quit. I guess a part of me didn't think I really had an eating disorder. As if I'm been choosing this somehow. But I will succeed.

Good job having more and more good days!

Hang in there!

The end of day 4. I've identified some triggers - eating breakfast, and being alone when my husband sleeps or goes to work in late afternoons and evenings - so I've planned for those. I've never counted calories in my life, but these past 4 days I have. I've enjoyed learning things like a cup of cabbage (which I love) is 22 cals, and ranch dressing is 120 for 2 tablespoons. I was putting like 6 tablespoons on big salads! No wonder I could never lose weight even if I thought I was eating healthy. So, I adjusted that. Bread, high cal. I'm only eating 1/2 a bagel instead of a whole, and a little less cream cheese. Anyway, my point is, I can lose weight and eat right and feel satiated and NOT - NEED - TO - BINGE. I am eating up to 1433 cals a day, which for my age and lifestyle is how to maintain weight. I'm not thinking about losing, but the fact is, since I slowed down on the Binges (and purges), I've begun to lose weight. this non restricted mind set is starting to free me into understanding that eating is a safe thing I can do. I can learn to trust myself. At my age (56) I never learned to watch what I ate. I was always tiny until my late 40's and ate whatever I wanted. No wonder I gained weight. Purging was never the answer, although I thought it was for years. Just calorie counting and being mindful of how I eat is the key. I won't try to make up a splurge day by cutting cals the next day, or I will be back on the merry go round. The last 2 days I didn't even get to 1433 (not even to 1k) because I was full from all the mindful eating of healthy choices. I am still scared of food a little at times. But I've found that keeping a couple hundred calories for late night makes me feel safer. Like, I know I CAN eat, so I don't have to feel the fear that drives the urge. Anyway, it's just day 4, but I think I'm getting the hang of this. I'm certainly learning.

Thank you very much for explaining your thinking and planning! Keep on hanging in there!

It's been 5 successful day and even though I went 8 days as a record so far, I feel better equipped this time, to go farther. I want to talk about calorie restriction. I've mentioned it in the past, but it won't work for most people! The restriction mind set is what leads to binges. So we want to understand that we an eat what we want and won't go hungry. I've been learning how dangerous thinking of restricting myself of anything is, and by knowing I will eat well, and not be hungry is the strength I am having by getting through. It's only because my favorite foods are vegetables is why I can eat huge without going over a daily calorie amount. This reassures me that I won't put on weight (that fear that leads to purging). I've been learning about this through Katie Papo videos on youtube and facebook. I will share a video here. She can be long winded But she is a recovered binge eater with good tips to share.

Congratulations on day 5!

Day 6 complete. I felt a little sorry for myself today because I was sick. I'm used to turning to food for comfort, but I wasn't hungry, so that made me sad. lol Anyway, I did end up eating some higher calorie items, and a couple cookies to lift my spirits. I still was within normal caloric range, so that's a win. Plus, I'm feeling better. At least the fever has seemed to ebb. Maybe eating noodles was the right choice.

Good job on day 6!

I'm sorry to hear that you are sick though.

I hope that you feel better soon!