Feeling stupid

I have really been struggling with the b/p side of my anorexia recently, like, multiple times a day and can't seem to stop. On Friday I was having big time chest pains, shortness of breath and my ears were ringing. I had never experienced this before. Normally, I am not one to overreact. Ever. But when I called my doctor she flipped out and said I had to go to the hospital immediately, that she wouldn't even see me, I had to go to the hospital.
So I went.
They did the EKG, blood tests, monitoring, etc and everything was coming back normal. At this point I knew that something was not normal, but they didn't seem worried. I guess they thought I was overreacting. Until my blood work came back. It showed that my potassium counts were in the danger to extreme danger zone and they had to do an infusion right away. I was kept there the whole day getting liquid potassium and they said that my body was shutting down because of the low count.
I say all of that to say that I am feeling completely stupid now for going to the hospital in the first place. Other than the potassium, everything else was fine. I know it's a big deal, so I don't know why I feel so pathetically stupid. What a whimp. Buh.

I would never go to the hospital. You need to learn after care(care after B/P sessions).

Things I do that help:
I drink coconut water afterwards.
I take zinc/magnesium/calcium
I make sure I take good quality fish oil(omega-3) daily.

It does not look like much but it helps immensely. Unless of course you are looking for your health to decline and you want the attention from being sick. I do everything to avoid anyone seeing me sick and weak.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moodswing It does not look like much but it helps immensely. Unless of course you are looking for your health to decline and you want the attention from being sick. I do everything to avoid anyone seeing me sick and weak.

I'm sorry, but it's this kind of attitude that is keeping you sick. Taking some vitamins orally is NOT going to replenish vitamins lost through purging. Generally multivitamins you buy over the counter are for people who are generally already healthy and are looking to fill in some nutritional gaps. Anything you buy over the counter is designed to satisfy the majority, the 95% of people who fit under the bell curve. Also, anything like that taken orally must be digested and absorbed into the bloodstream. If you're purging regularly, you are in all likelihood purging those vitamins, since it requires time (i.e., several hours) and food in the stomach to be fully digested.

It makes me upset that you would say this to someone who is already struggling. Since the OP already feels bad about going to the hospital for a (I need to stress this part) legitimate health concern, I seriously doubt she has some kind of case of Münchausen Syndrome and is just looking for attention and that people who "allow" their health to deteriorate are attention-seeking.You can keep your misplaced sense of pride because no matter how "weak" someone appears to be to you, it is always harder to live than it is to die, and it requires more strength to be alive than to sleep in a coffin.

Anyway...

Re OP: No, you are absolutely not stupid, nor did you overreact. That's what your ED wants you to think, that you're not worth it--but does your ED ever allow you to be right? You can always do better, you can always do something different... you're not good enough. Isn't that the ED mantra?

I'm sorry that you are struggling so much, it's so hard to pull yourself out of that horrible, disgusting mire... I'll be thinking of you.

Hugs (if OK)

-whoswho

I do not even need to tread your entire response to know I hit a nerve with you. Perhaps you should explore that.

Moodswing,
I know you are struggling right now and I'm sorry for that. But it seems to me that condoning someone (OP) for getting the physical help she obviously needed is uncalled for. It makes me sad that you feel that way about yourself, as you deserve to be loved unconditionally, cared for (by yourself and others), and healthy. AND SO DOES OP. I beg you to watch your words and not add to her burden.

thanks everybody- I really belive that I need to get help however that looks right now, but it's hard to make sense of it all.

This is extremely disordered thinking and not factually accurate. I encourage the OP to disregard it as evidence of another member's disorder and NOT good advice. If you are restricting/fasting or b/p-ing then your body isn't physically capable of absorbing vitamins. You can be left permanently blind or paralyzed by severely low potassium, and it is the leading cause of fatal heart attacks in eating disorder patients!!!

That being said, I totally relate. I had a similar experience years ago and spent 2 days on IV potassium in the ICU. Even though I absolutely would have died without it, I felt horrible for seeking and receiving help. My eating disorder tricked me into believing I didn't deserve help and was selfish for taking it. The fact is, though, that we're dealing with an illness. It's not our fault, and we DO deserve to live! I hope you continue to seek help. You did everything RIGHT!!!