No More Sex Chat Rooms

While we understand the sex talk is often a normal, healthy component of social interactions among adults, we're a diverse community who's main focus is on helping people improve their mental health. For that reason, explicit talk about sex, sexual acts, sexual positions, etc. in any public or private chat room is now prohibited.

Mild flirting and non-explicit innuendo remains okay, as long as it is conducted in the Adult Room. No graphic discussion of sex or sexual acts is allowed in any of our chat rooms.

Sexual conversations remain okay between two mutually-consenting members in private, one-on-one chat. Such conversations must remain private at all times.

Discussions about sexual problems that are causing significant distress in a person's life or relationship is also okay, on a limited basis and as long as such problems are discussed in the Adult Room. For instance, someone trying to revive or better understand their sex life in their relationship or marriage would be an okay topic of conversation in the Adult Room (as long as there was no graphic descriptions included in the discussion).

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Because of this change, there's no further point in creating a private chat room with the word "(Sex)" in it.

Members who fail to abide by this chat guideline will receive a warning (either in chat by a chat host or moderator; or via PM after the fact). Continued violation of this guideline could result in a member's chat privileges being temporarily suspended.

There are literally hundreds of online chat rooms and other places where you can have sexual conversations; we are no longer one of them.

This new guideline is effective immediately.

Best,
DocJohn

Thanks, DocJohn

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you DocJohn.

....Darn, I was going to explore that room...it is hard for a guy like me to hook up..

As the doc says .. plenty of other chatrooms for sex talk

Dear Doc,
Thank you for all your thoughtful work on this subject. You and your team really stepped up to make our site a better place to be!!!

question does this include sexual discussions in the sexual and gender issues forum board? Sometimes questions can get asked in that forum where people are wondering about favorite positions, turn ons and such.... just wondering and some concerns about now that its not allowed in chat that the sexual and gender issues board is going to get blown up with (used for) what used to be taken to the chat rooms.

As A Survivor Of CSA, I Cannot Express How Much I Appreciate This!

Thank You! ... Thank You! ... Thank You!

,
Pfrog!

As a survivor myself I have intentionally stayed away from the adult chat rooms in order to avoid this kind of talk. Thanks Doc John!

I don't use the chat. Guess I have been missing out. LOL

Never used chat but it seems that I was missing out on some awesomeness

Alas, the lord of this realm cracks his whip. What a shame

Good Job DocJohn!!!!!!!......there are plenty of other forums on the internet for that kind of stuff

I blame myself.

Well I suppose rules are rules. I've never even tried the chat rooms, but I assume discussing sexual issues is still okay on that specific board?

Maybe it's pointless but I just have to say that, as a person who lived with sexual repression and shame throughout my formative years thanks to an oppressive religion and devout parents, this policy bothers me. It seems to me that much of modern society is downright afraid of anything sexual -- it's taboo and dirty, it must be kept secret and hidden, that kind of thing. And I wholeheartedly disagree with such stances. Sex, for procreation OR pleasure, shouldn't be shameful, sinful or taboo. Whether you like it or not we're all sexual creatures, although I know that many people deny their own sexuality for so long that they completely lose touch with it. And I really pity those people.

IMO sex needs to be openly and candidly discussed. We need to stop "hiding" it, because it's a core part of our very beings. How is banning it conducive to "helping people improve their mental health"? In my personal experience, hiding and banning it only damaged my mental health. Just my two cents.

We have members who were sexually abused as children, and others who've been raped or otherwise have suffered from injury or pain related to sex. So for us, it's not about "sexual repression" as it is in keeping with our core mission. We don't think it's too much to ask people to not engage in sexually explicit and sometimes pornographic conversations on a mental health website.

There are no lack of online communities you can join to engage in explicit sexual conversations. We are no longer one of them.

DocJohn

Thank you!! I'm really glad this is happening, I came here for help and I didn't want another chat room like the others I have come across, and I honestly become very uncomfortable and offended by sexual chat rooms, thank you so much for this!!!

Hoorah! Good decision.

I wish I could hit the THANKS button multiple times!!!! (((hug)))

Thank you very much, DocJohn!

It can make the chat room very intimidating at times.
A courageous act... to me it seems like a courageous act on your part... I am a tad over-imaginative though.
Thanks again.

Haven't been to chat for a couple years. Even then I never knew that was there....still I'm glad it's gone. The other day I saw a post that someone wanted to chat but all there was is sex ...? I didn't know what they were referring to, I'm glad the chat will be available for people now without having to navigate around sex.

Why do people have opinions that don't even use chat?

Anyway, I'm sure this decision tees several people off that love to really indulge in this. Many unhappy faces. Yes, I've seen the talk and the severity of it. It has sometimes been hours of plain pornography. And people who wanted to talk about other things had still gone to the adult room because it is the only place with people.

I'm not going to pretend I'm sad about this decision. I don't think it looks good on a serious site to have pornography. I know I will be called a hater now and a party pooper.

But whew! This decision is quite a relief.

And I do think it also is more mentally healthy as those involved in the convos were manic or similar, and why would we want to feed into mental illness, we don't go Yay more! when someone is depressed. We want that person not to stay in the ill mood.

So thanks. Much appreciated.

Thank you so very much for this very wise decision.

1) OCD can be just the opposite, where a person is unable to enjoy sexuality.
2) Not all sexual people are ill, thus not all sex talk is pathological.
3) The pathological status of hypomania is controversial.

I'm not opposing the decision. I just hate logical fallacies.

Thanks, DocJohn.

To think, a year ago when I asked that sex talk be limited you all tried to bite off my head!

That's kinda gross