[lily245]

I can see a lot of similarities between my parents and my grandparents behavior. Especially my grandmother, treats me very similar to how my mom treats me just way worse. It's pretty much whatever I do I'm never good enough. I'm sure this has been the usual "treatment" long long back in my family, and I know for sure that if I ever decide to have children I'm going to brake that pattern (which makes me really happy). But anyway, I was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences and if so, how you are dealing with it?

I just wanted to reply and give you some hugs.

((((hugs)))))

I am sorry no one replied yet, but hope you get the answers you're after

[lily245]

Thank you!! So sweet of you! Sending hugs right back to you!

[bubbles00]

My family treats me very much the same way. I don't have a precise mechanism to deal with it so I can't list anything. But I would like to say that you're the better person in this picture. You state that you're going to break this pattern and that's what makes you the better person in the family. That in itself proves that you are worthy. Your future kids will have a fantastic parent that recognizes these bad patterns and knows how to better deal with situations. You will empathize with them and will treat them much better.

Don't let your family get you down because you are a good person And you ARE good enough

I wish you well

[DodgersMom]

Yes both my mom and grandma are Narassacists. (spelling?) and it has ruined me... I am in therapy now, trying to learn to build my confidence and become more assertive. i have spent my entire life on the basis of "will this make mom or grandma upset?" and i wont do things that may or will. i feel like i don't even know who i am really.

i would suggest therapy as well if you can

[lily245]

Originally Posted by bubbles00

My family treats me very much the same way. I don't have a precise mechanism to deal with it so I can't list anything. But I would like to say that you're the better person in this picture. You state that you're going to break this pattern and that's what makes you the better person in the family. That in itself proves that you are worthy. Your future kids will have a fantastic parent that recognizes these bad patterns and knows how to better deal with situations. You will empathize with them and will treat them much better.

Don't let your family get you down because you are a good person And you ARE good enough

I wish you well

Thank you so much!

[lily245]

Originally Posted by DodgersMom

Yes both my mom and grandma are Narassacists. (spelling?) and it has ruined me... I am in therapy now, trying to learn to build my confidence and become more assertive. i have spent my entire life on the basis of "will this make mom or grandma upset?" and i wont do things that may or will. i feel like i don't even know who i am really.

i would suggest therapy as well if you can

Yes I'm in therapy and it's helping a lot! She's very kindhearted and understanding, it's amazing how just one person can open up your eyes so much.