So just a heads up, I'm really terrible at sharing or expressing how I feel about things. So here goes. I apologize in advance if this is just a long ramble that makes no sense.

I could say that I suffered from neglect and emotional abuse growing up. It's something that I never really thought affected me, because I never looked at it that way. Not until my sister talked me into seeing a therapist. I grew up very strong willed and independent. Self sufficient, never needed anyone. I thought it was normal until around middle school. Then I started to notice that I was different. I didn't need anyone, didn't miss anyone. When all my friends were talking about their gfs/bfs, I didn't have any of those feelings. It's not something I craved or felt like I was missing out on. I never felt strongly about anything. What bothered others, didn't really bother me. I'm still that way.

I guess I'm just courious if anyone else can relate. Or am I alone in my weirdness?

[sin333]

I feel the same!! When I was growing up I suffered from neglect, emotional and sometimes but rarely physical abuse. I moved from city to city, town to town, school to school. The worse thing was moving school for say a year to another and moving back to the same school. When I went back all my friends had moved on to other friends and I was so emotionally drained, I could never get those friendships back. It was never the same. Then we would move again. We had to keep living with distant relatives and at one point I had to sleep in a chair for several weeks. I had no brothers or sisters so I felt like I was going through it all alone.
Abit like you, I just stopped caring about things everyone else cared about. I think I emotionally had to switch off from feeling anything, just so I could cope.( Sorry to rant), but that felt good telling someone as this is the first time I've told anyone.😔

Rant away. It does feel good to talk about it. I'm not exactly sure how to yet. I figure you have to start somewhere though. Baby steps.

[sin333]

Yeah, that's it baby steps👣

[20oney]

I can definitely relate! I am about 2 years into therapy and still struggling with being open with my T. But, baby steps, as said! You get there eventually I think, once you've found a therapist that you really connect with. I have no idea what the end goal is for me in this relationship, but I am glad that I managed to get myself on the road to a better mood! All I can say, is - it is worth it, it may take weeks, months or years to show a bit of vulnerability, but I think once you do, you see that while it is terrifying, there are people in the world with the emotional intelligence to show and provide you with support!

Best of luck !

[Sunflower123]

Sometimes it takes baby steps and that works and sometimes a grenade is thrown into your life (that also works but much more painfully). I was independent, self-reliant and didn't tend to share my thoughts and feelings until I got sick then it was a matter of survival.

It's great you are taking steps in the right direction. Kudos.

lol I guess I'm taking steps. Starting to talk is a step right?