[Whitemask0]

Hello, thanks to the people who takes their time, even if im not important in their lives and try to help me.
Now i want to start talking about my life: i can say my parents have done the best they could, obviously we make mistakes and i know they wanted the oposite, but they just were wrong... At first i was really a happy little girl, really talkative and all, but everything changed when i went to school. I have to say i was really upseting, i felt special because thanks to my mom i was clever, but bullying started.. Those 5 years where hell and in those years i didnt say a thing about my feelings, my parents never asked, i dont really remember very well about it, but i remember how they always, even now, say: "women have to be strong" or "crying wont help" for that i started to hide everything, i thought it was normal, that everyone was as sad as i was, but years go by and my sadness and anxiety gets worse and worse, i never had therapy, and i feel like i have depresion for 2 years now, i know is bad to self diagnose, but i have episodes of extreme sadness or being totally numb, i cant get out of bed, or even shower or change clothes, also my anxiety grow to the point of being anxious only for going to the park, what would i do when i start university in a couple months? And my relationship with my parents doesnt help, ive always being pleasant and is hard to me to know whats going on with my feelings because they never took that in consideration, i need help, please, i believe a little part is CEN and some depression, and i know too you have no relation with me, im just other messed up person in this page, but if someone just says something about this whole post ill be really thankful, sorry for the bad writing
PD: i wrote here because i can relate to all the symptoms of CEN and sorry again

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are struggling with all of this. Many years ago, throughout high school, I was severely bullied both verbally & physically by a gang of toughs. Everyone knew what was going on, including my parents. But nobody cared. I don't know to what extent it affected my life as an adult. But I'm certain it did. So I can relate to what you wrote here.

I'm afraid the only answer I have to offer, with regard to how you're feeling, is therapy. Talking through all of this, at length & in depth, with a skilled therapist may help you to come to terms with it. And, of course, if needed, there are also antidepressant medications you can try.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of childhood emotional neglect. Perhaps some of the information in these articles can be of some help:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...ional-neglect/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...ional-neglect/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...-of-emptiness/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...mpty-feelings/

And then... here are links to some articles on the subject of healing from depression:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/stop-fa...ssion-healing/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-step...ng-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/strateg...ng-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-ways...ough-exercise/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-thi...at-depression/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/mille...om-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...ve-depression/

My best wishes to you...

[malika138]

Glad that you posted here. There is a lot of support here. We share commonalities. To me I find it useful to know that there others out there who understand.