[cryingontheinside]

Dad

Why wasn't I ever good enough ?
Why did you always steal my Christmas and birthday presents and give them to your ex step daughter?
Why did you never show me love ?
Why did you hurt me then call me a whingy witch ?
When you strangled me round my neck so tight why did you call that play fighting ?
Why did you keep abandoning me ?
Why did you steal my clothes and bedding and give it to your girlfriend's daughter ?
Why did you love children that weren't your own more than your real daughter ?

Now why do you wonder why I am so depressed and why do you blame me for it ? Why did you never love me ?

Mum

Mum why did you leave me with all kind of people that you didn't know well? Did you need a break from me even though I was quiet and good ? Did you ever wonder if they were treating me bad or good ? Did you even care ?
Why did you put all your many boyfriends ahead of me ? Why did you stay with a man when you suspected he was a child molester ?
Why did you start beating me when I questioned that you was letting a pervert live with us?
Why did you treat me like a slave and never have any time for me ?
Why did you get credit out in my name when I turned 18 ? Why did you intentionally destroy my credit ?

Why is it you still wonder why I haven't turned out how you wanted ? Why wasn't I good enough to be loved ?

I can relate to much of this. You were good enough. Its them, not you. That is a concept I have worked hard to see, but in my heart I know its true for both of us. Their actions are a reflection of their pain and not your worth.

You were and are good enough.

[cryingontheinside]

I'm sorry that you suffered too.
A child needs to feel love.
Although I have love for others I've always struggled to love myself .
Fundamentally they have taught me that I am unlovable and that's the way I live my life

mum

why did you abuse me

why, when I was diagnosed with bipolar, did you kick me out the family and want me dead?

why did you use my money (my own money), to fund your trip to las vegas

why did you tell everyone you met to hurt me if they saw me?

and most importantly, why did you emigrate to Africa and tell everyone over their I'm dead when I'm not?

why when I was 4 did you try to burn the house down while I was playing in my bedroom

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

mum

why did you abuse me

why, when I was diagnosed with bipolar, did you kick me out the family and want me dead?

why did you use my money (my own money), to fund your trip to las vegas

why did you tell everyone you met to hurt me if they saw me?

and most importantly, why did you emigrate to Africa and tell everyone over their I'm dead when I'm not?

I'm sorry that you went through that . :Hugs:

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

why when I was 4 did you try to burn the house down while I was playing in my bedroom

That is terrible

[Fuzzybear]

everyone in this thread was (and is) good enough to be loved. Feeling that though isn’t ... this stuff has been planted deep.

The parents had their dysfunction (and in some cases pain) - we are left with the pain

I often wonder too, but won’t ask

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

I'm sorry that you went through that . :Hugs:

me too.

I'm also sorry that she still gets away with it- doing exactly what she did to me to my brother and sister

I don't know how my mother can party it up in tunesia and tell everyone I'm dead, and not feel bad for saying it

sick..

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I don't know how my mother can party it up in tunesia and tell everyone I'm dead, and not feel bad for saying it

sick..

Grrrrrrrrr...... very sick. I agree.