More exploration...

Hi! So, perhaps I don't belong here. It's possible that I am just a whining, spoilt brat who is seeking attention and so on, somebody who has been far too spoiled for their own good n who doesn't know what the difference is, between reality n the content of their own head....somebody who can't be trusted n shouldn't be listened to, nevermind try to take what they say/express remotely seriously.

Facts, I come from a family, with a history, where things are minimised n denied well, more often than not. We don't do affection, and we definitely never "do" any subject in our pasts, that still cause pain/tension...if one pushes, then their shut down, for keeps. We are a close knit family, so long as we're silent.

The above of course, is from my view point. I've no "evidence" that I ever suffered from cen. Yet, the more I've looked up on it, the info I have read here, talking with my therapist, etc, leads me to believe, me (and others before) all know/have known cen. How do you really know?

There is no history of abuse, within the family...nothing physical, or any other kind. I just 'know' that, in some way, there is something not good, in the family. I'm guessing every family is fd up, in some way? During my stay here, I'm wanting to understand life/people a lot more, than I do now, but, dunno how?

I can't talk to anyone about this, I would not be believed, I don't even think, with my therapist as, I've been accused of blaming my family over other stuff.

I'm sorry you received no replies to this back when you posted it. I don't know how one determines if one has suffered childhood emotional neglect. Perhaps CEN, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder? I often think about my experiences with my family of origin. Certainly I had a better childhood than some. Still there were troubles as well. (I guess every family has them in one way or another.)

You wrote that you can't talk about this with anyone, apparently even your therapist? I do think it would be good if you could delve into this with your T. After all, this is what therapy is all about, it seems to me. I know something about holding onto things you can't talk about. I've been doing exactly that for my whole long life. And I can tell you from experience it's not pretty. Anyway... thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I enjoyed having the opportunity to reply to your post.

((((Miss P)))) Abuse doesn't have to be physical. It can be psychological, as well. So yes, your family can definitely be considered abusive. I'm sorry you're struggling so much...

Thank you very much, Guys....well, for ages, I swing back n forth. Ultimately, I've decided I'm letting this go. All I said above is true. I neglected to mention, however, my family and I, well, we are complex/changeable souls. I know they love n care about me, as I do them.

My therapist is such a smart lady, I had a breakthrough, in that, she's helped me realise, my family do ultimately love me. Sadly, there is little trust, on both sides. We all now hold, very fixed, not so great views, about each other n we'd never confide, nor go to each other in a crises. I'm as guilty of neglect, as they, and I do know, the care givers (before me in the family) were also given, so called, tough love. I'll keep on exploring in therapy n again, thanks to you both