seems to be the start of all my sentences lately when I am talking to people and I don't like it

wonder if it's because my life really truly sucks now, or I just want to be a kid

or both

honestly I don't know.. but I am doing so much looking back at the past.

my amy doll and my baby videos and my high chair are the main topic of conversation, I don't want to go back in a high chair, no no no... hated that thing.

(just posting my feelings)

[Yaowen]

Dear raging vortex,

You are not one to linger on the surface of life and run on autopilot as so many of us are. That is a virtue and one that I try to cultivate in myself. Your writing about your childhood reminds me of mine. I try to keep the child inside me as alive and well as possible.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[Skeezyks]

Of course, I don't know anything about this really. But lately, in particular, I've developed a strong desire to be "little". I don't even know exactly what that means. And I really don't have much in the way of ideas as to how to be "little" at my age either.

If I was senile I guess I would do things young children do and my spouse and pdoc (the only people I interact with) would simply chalk it up to senility and I wouldn't care or know the difference. But, although I do experience some symptoms typically associated with what is referred to as "sundown syndrome", otherwise I'm not senile (at least not yet.)

So while internally I have this longing to be "little", outwardly I still struggle to maintain some semblance of maturity. Perhaps it's simply a reaction to stress and anxiety. There's so much violence all around us day-in and day-out (especially where I live.) Plus there's still the pandemic and the isolation it imposes. Perhaps it all just makes one (me in particular) want to regress? Maybe you too?

[seeker33]

I totally understand. I'm exactly the same. Hugs

[MickeyCheeky]

Sorry you're feeling this way. What we have experienced as children can impact our adulthood definitely. Please be kind to yourself. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @raging vortex, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sending hugs and respect

[Mendingmysoul]

Nothing is wrong in wanting to talk about your childhood.If we have missed out on being a normal kid,there will be a desire to regress in adulthood ,I guess.