[demonicAngel]

i was already sick in the mind.more mental disorder's than i care to admit.then roughly 3 years ago my body decided-hey,i'm checking out to.but they way they are leaves me in a state of uncontrollable suffering and pain.only 35 and near bed ridden,i cry silent tears daily as i lay alone in pain.begging for help,a doctor to be engaged in my care.to at least ease the sharpness,take the edge off-something.but not leave me to rot away with no treatments at all.hardly any testing but many useless pills thrown at me.they made me more sick and i refused to take them or any more till some honest work was done.i got blatantly ignored,my pain noticed but given little to no recognition.hardly by family,i have no friends-i don't have endurance for that now-even my therapist has pretty much had to give up.so where does it leave me?in such pain i can hardly interact with anything and lay in my bed,everyday in all kinds of pain.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, demonicAngel, and again, welcome to Psych Central! I am sorry that you are having to struggle with both physical and mental illness. Many of us here have the same double whammy.

Although my pain pills have some side effects, I choose to take them, because I want to try to get out and do some things.

People might think they have done all they can for you. Are your health problems ones that literally prevent you from moving, walking, etc.?

I also try to distract myself. Even getting here on Psych Central and trying to help other people helps take my mind off my pain.

I hope things will get better soon.

[demonicAngel]

Hello againyes they are.im just 35 and in roughly thus far been 2-3yrs went from perfectly physicaly capable to now i can just barely drive a block to the store.most days like now im in so much pain my bodys muscles just are so week i gotta crawl to the bathroom and i exist in a 2 bedroom box.just this bit of typing hurts so bad.

[Travelinglady]

I am so sorry, demonicAngel. So, no pain pills help either?

[demonicAngel]

Im not getting anything but xanax and medical pot.my doctors are more stupid than i am and do no follow ups(even when i bugged)and dont go over any test results ever done.i taught myself over 3yrs of what i know from what little bits of records i have been able to get and rage doesnt come close!they have conditions i never have had and do not like convulsions(never had 1)epilepsy(wrong again)and wrecklassly tossed so many pills down me it perminately damaged my stomach lining so i cant eat half of the foods i once could.i lost count years ago how many different pcp ive tried.so now i play pretend and all the other meds that made me even worse yet kept getting pushed,i pick up so it appears as if im taking them but im flushing em down the toilet.i have tried every over the counter pain reliever,vitamines,all the "home remedies" over the past 2-3yrs and zip-nothing.i only steadily and progressivly got worse with more symptoms adding along the way.im dying from something but no one really cared but me.though i dont now.now i when able look up death insurance to pay my cremation costs,various medical directives,will,etc.i fought a damn good battle but lost the war.but im ok with it.im ready to go.made peace with that many years ago.death i have never,even as a child feared at all.no reason to.ive just known that when it would be time,id just know.its not here yet but i feel its close enough id better get organized and for me that can take years.but i seriously doubt ill see 41.which is cool with me.

[Flummixed]

If I were you I'd find a better doctor. Good luck to you. I have a lot of pain myself and my doctors just chalked me up as a "med seeking" patient even though I went through all of the other things they suggested. I hope things will get better. Do you have any family that could advocate for you since you're so worn out?

[demonicAngel]

I have no one to help me.i just learned today my or now used to be therapist came to my place and in tears she told me the mental health clinic has dropped me as a patient(its a state run facility)because and we had no idea,some how on record i have early onset alz-dementia.yet ive never gotten informed till today and im getting no treatment at all for anything.just xanax and pot.ive been in hard trenches for 3 solid years bouncing to so many doctors i shouldnt have any head on me period.now my bodys given out,literaly and its probably m.s. or lupus.my councilor even fought for me going above her bosses boss and lost.she was choking back tears and said since ive got her personal cell number to please keep in touch and couldnt stop apologizing though i told her it isnt her fault because its not.i really have lost.just 35 yrs old.oh well i can say with fact i did put up a hell of a fight for being in poverty and sick.plus i did 95% of it all by myself while supporting my family the best i could.