[lv99atheist]

I've been dealing with chronic pain for a long time now. I haven't been seen by a doctor yet... and it's not just because I'm a man and refuse to see a doc until I'm dying!

See, I have brought up the topic of my pain before and have had a few tests, but doctors tend to ignore what I say and instead focus on something for which they can write an expensive drug prescription. I've tried to get an appointment with a chronic pain clinic, a rheumatologist, any specialist, but they need a referral from a doctor. I can't get my current primary care doctors to listen to me for even three minutes about my pain! I've tried other primary care doctors in the past, too. Some of this specific pain I've been dealing with for at least ten years... and chronic all-over pain for most of my life. I think I have fibromyalgia, but I haven't been formally diagnosed. (I can't get a formal diagnosis if nobody is listening!)

I get a sense that doctors just don't want to listen, or they don't believe me. So, even as my range of movement and activity levels have decreased by necessity, I'm really doubting myself. I know they're probably thinking I just want narcotics, even though I've never abused them or have been addicted to them. I can't even guess why they'd not even consider my pain. I'm not a "pill shopper." I'm already disabled, so it's not like I'm getting any pecuniary benefits. I just want confirmation and maybe some advice or treatment. I can't leave my third-story walk-up often because of my pain, and I'm having to now use the wheelchairs offered at grocery stores just to get the shopping done. (People look at me like I'm a 40 year-old faker, including a few people who almost hit me last time I went out!) My partner has taken up a lot of responsibility around the apartment and doing most of the shopping, and I'm sure he resents me for it.

I'm just tired of being treated like my pain doesn't matter, especially since that's the prevailing attitude among doctors I see. Maybe I am just a big baby, but I hurt! I hurt a lot. Maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know. But how can I convince a doctor to pay attention? How can I get them to "believe" me?

[January]

Can you be straight forward and say, "I'm in a lot of pain and I want a referral to a rheumatologist.", and not let the Dr. change the subject until you get the referral? I am very polite, but also very stolid about what I need my Dr's to do. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

[Gus1234U]

i find that a request in writing for assistance with pain management or referral to a specialist/clinic works wonders with overwhelmed/uncaring docs. it always looks to them like the first step in a law-suit, and they are hasty to send you away with something to show for it.

i do know what you mean,,, some people just don't 'look like' they are suffering ... :O some get help at much lower levels of pain and impairment, and it's just one of those inexplicable things in life. i had an uncle with back pain who was always being called 'lazy' , because everyone else just worked with pain, somehow were able to tolerate it. i have a very high pain tolerance myself, but am developing the painful kind of neuropathy. i don't look forward to the meds they will try to give me for that~! some of them have a very high incidence of crippling side effects or even death~ :O

you might try the 'binaural beat' audio technology to increase your ability to tolerate the pain. (be sure to use stereo head phones when you listen.) i wish you the very best.

[lv99atheist]

Originally Posted by January

Can you be straight forward and say, "I'm in a lot of pain and I want a referral to a rheumatologist.", and not let the Dr. change the subject until you get the referral? I am very polite, but also very stolid about what I need my Dr's to do. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Well, I might be seeing a pain specialist in a very roundabout way. I have a kidney stone that formed *inside* my right kidney. I was just treated for two kidney stones on that same side, and they went in with a camera to see if they could spot that big stone (1.2 cm. I call it "Mount Rainier." I try to have a sense of humor.) I *shouldn't* be having pain on that side... but I am. So, I'm off to see a stone specialist for a second opinion on it, and if they think that the "Rainier" stone isn't causing the problem, they'll refer me to a pain clinic for some other treatments.

You are right, though. I should start losing my "sensitive New Age guy" card and start crashing gates... even if it means interrupting and steering the subject back to the pain. I woke up today after a hard day out yesterday and it's all I can do not to run screaming through the streets in an effort to get my mind off the joint pain, muscle tension, and fatigue. (The only thing keeping me back is the fact that running through the streets would make everything worse.... and it's raining.)

[lv99atheist]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

i find that a request in writing for assistance with pain management or referral to a specialist/clinic works wonders with overwhelmed/uncaring docs. it always looks to them like the first step in a law-suit, and they are hasty to send you away with something to show for it.

i do know what you mean,,, some people just don't 'look like' they are suffering ... :O some get help at much lower levels of pain and impairment, and it's just one of those inexplicable things in life. i had an uncle with back pain who was always being called 'lazy' , because everyone else just worked with pain, somehow were able to tolerate it. i have a very high pain tolerance myself, but am developing the painful kind of neuropathy. i don't look forward to the meds they will try to give me for that~! some of them have a very high incidence of crippling side effects or even death~ :O

you might try the 'binaural beat' audio technology to increase your ability to tolerate the pain. (be sure to use stereo head phones when you listen.) i wish you the very best.

I have started a pain journal to document what's going on over time. I've been suffering for years and it's only getting worse. Maybe by keeping an ongoing log they'll realize how much it has affected my life. I will also try a written request; I don't know why I didn't think of that before! Thanks. I know I've had to submit written complaints to landlords and such, and those seem to get attention like nothing else.

I get it with regards to your uncle. I was really down on my mother for a long time, since all she seemed interested in doing was watching TV. She might have been suffering in silence for years. I will probably feel about about judging her for the rest of my life... especially since this seems to be like a karmic retribution for all that bad-mouthing. Judge not, 'lest ye be judged. This has given me a great chance to reframe family history: maybe family members who did little with their middle adulthood weren't just lazy, but instead suffering from something I've now inherited? I'm starting to think so.

As for binaureal recordings, I just found Kelly Howell and have tried a few of those. While they're playing, I do feel some relief, or at least some distraction. I had also discovered ASMR videos on YouTube, which really help with relaxation and sleep. But they're really no good to me when I have to be alert and running errands, unfortunately. The only pain medication I can get right now is over-the-counter, and I think I've either built up a tolerance from long use or I'm in so much pain that it doesn't work... or both. My primary care doctor has already said she can't prescribe narcotic painkillers (the clinic I go to serves a lot of really poor people, and lawmakers are terrified the poor will just sell their Percocet for something stronger... like the rich NEVER do that!)

Anyway, coping not one day at a time, but literally one second at a time. It's got to get better sometime. Thanks for the advice!