[jaynedough]

It seems like everyone is struggling right now. Add me to that list. Lately, almost every day I wonder, "Will this be the day that I give up?" In less than two months after ending 5 months of physical therapy, I've lost what little ground I gained.

I wanted to tell you something that has helped with balance and walking. My physical therapist recommended trekking poles. They are very lightweight and can be adjusted to the length I need to stand upright. There are so many available now, in varying price points. And colors, too; I was able to get pink! There are 2 basic ways to adjust the length: flip lock/thumb screw or twist. I got the former, but the latter is easier to use. Most can be collapsed down to fit in carry-on luggage. They have rubber tip protectors for using on hard surfaces and you can buy replacement tips that are wider, for more stability. A few are made with cane-type handles. The poles really have been easier for me than crutches and walkers. I'm pretty clumsy and my body has always been unsynchronised, but have been able to quickly learn how to use them to walk (left pole forward with right foot, right pole forward with left foot). The biggest issue has been my anxiety over thinking people are staring. That's lessened with time.

[Kiya]

I have found 4 lady bugs....

[Gus1234U]

[cakeladie]

Yahoo Kiya you go girl

[~Christina]

Liz .... I feel for you .... I Woke up Sunday with a super sore throat and lungs burning saw GP Monday so on horse pill size antibiotic and predisone. Yuck .

Today I spent time packing for our ten day trip to TN ! Im so happy to be going I am going to try and not come unglued when its time to come back down here.

Cake yes please look into a call alert !

Jan your antics with Belle make me laugh

Everyone be kind to yourself please !

[Kiya]

Really super tired of fighting it all. Med provider terminated with me today (via email) due to insurance and being unwilling to waive my unaffordable $36 copay. (I get “extra help” with copays). I’ve only seen her a handful of times this year. If she spent less time talking about herself and bothered to show up on time, she could have more better paying clients. I digress. It’s cold, raining, and I want to hibernate until spring.
Hugs all

[Gus1234U]

life is like a box of elephants....

on my way to the market/pharmacy today, shortly,,, riding the para-transit...couldn't walk to the bus stop, this lung crap is for the fish~!

[January]

I'm so worried about everyone! Kiya, are you still going to get your meds? Gus, please write and let us know you got home and if you are all right. Christina, I'm so glad you're going to TN, but I'm sorry you're sick. Liz, how are you feeling now? Cake, I hope you get that device. I've actually thought of getting one for myself. Where is WC?

I know I've left people out and I'm sorry for that.

I had to change anti-depressants because of the side effects. My friend says my speech is impaired right now. I can't hear it but I do know it's hard to put thoughts into words. I hope this one works.

Belle is very jealous of the computer. She always wants me to play with her instead. When I go somewhere I have to move the computer chair into the middle of the room because she climbs up and taps the keyboard and I never know what I'm going to find on the monitor when I get back!

[cakeladie]

Jan maybe she like looking at the computer. I know our cats do

[Gus1234U]

well, i dude it, i'm home with critter chow and all the frozen stuff in the freezer,,, took a whole tank of oxy, rather than the usual half.... i hear my bed calling me~! O.O
to all

[January]

Jayne, I think those walking sticks are a wonderful idea. Thanks for sharing that with us.

Gus, I love the pics of the angels and especially the one with the angel and the elephant. I'm so glad you got to the store and back.
I hope you rest today.

Cake, you're right. Belle does love to look at the monitor, but a couple times I had to call a friend for help on how to get my toolbar unlocked! She magically moved it to the side and I couldn't get it back on the bottom.

It's cold here today. The high is going to be 40 degrees. The floor here is cement covered with the thinnest, old indoor/outdoor carpet you've ever seen. My feet freeze and Belle's paws get very cold. I bought her some little socks. I let her see and smell them last night. She got very excited and ran around and around in circles. She tried to take one, but I wouldn't let her have it. Today I'll try them on her. She's not going to be happy, but I'm going to try it. I'll let you know how it goes.

[lizardlady]

I think the cold might be moving into my chest, I'm not sure. Am developing a cough. It might be from crap draining out of my head though.

We have today off work for Veteran's Day. I had all sorts of plans for things I wanted to get done. Instead I slept until 11. I absolutely have to go to the grocery store today. Am out of both cat and dog food! Am going to do that then crash for the rest of the day. Might crash for the whole weekend.

Anyone got some cheese to go with my whine?!

[Gus1234U]

behold! the infant onion....

[childofchaos831]

I've started PT again and it was okay. The part that hurts most from that is from the PTA working on a knot I've had in my hip/butt for a while. It was there last time I was in PT, back in like June, but they couldn't get it all the way down then. The knot is on the same side that most of my sciatic pain was and is.

[Gus1234U]

(child, i've heard that a small bean bag laid on a knot will help it to relax. you can also warm one in microwave for more 'feels good' ....)

[Kiya]

I will get my meds, but not the memory med :/
Yesterday my body became so numb/tingly, icy hot and in pain that I called the neuro and they said if I can’t stand it, go to ER. So I did. 4 hours later I was seen...
Soooo... MRI normal, blood normal, discharged at midnight even though I couldn’t feel my legs and was shuffle walking. I went to the counter and let them know I’d lost my balance getting dressed... asked if I wanted a wheel chair. Um I drove here... they wouldn’t let me drive home ONLY because they gave me Ativan for the MRI. Not because had no feeling *sigh* they had to voucher me a cab. Mom can’t see at night and I’m not about to call up my friend in Troutdale. I was trying to get them to understand I didn’t want to be released- I’m scared! But it’s black and white- if the labs say you’re fine, you’re own experience doesn’t matter. 😔
Today isn’t much better. I want to kick something but I don’t have the energy.
Hugs, all.

[cakeladie]

I am sorry Kiya I know how you feel. I have had a rough few days. Our daughter woke us up at 10 pm Friday night her boyfriend coked her and her dog she had to bite him to let go and she came to our house. Her dog ripped both screen doors and kept us mainly me up all night hubby left to try and sale the blazer. I had errands to run and I needed to make a cover for her dogs kennel that I had to just go buy.

Then I had to take her to the police station because the boyfriend called the police after she left and filed a report and kept texting her that she was going to be arrested. So we went to the station no warrant for her arrest thank god but the ding bat is thinking about going back to him.

It got me so upset and with lack of sleep I started having seizures no fun

[Gus1234U]

(don'tcha just wonder if our environmental stressors and our physical maladies are 'expressions' of one state of being ?)

[January]

Child, I had one of those knots on the same side I had the most pain. I'm sorry that you are going through that and I hope your therapist can work it out for you. Heat really helps it, but remember to not do it continuously.

Oh Kiya, I'm so sorry you are going through this. People at the ER infuriate me sometimes. Are you doing any better at all today? When I tell the people at the ER that I came alone and that I have no one to help me, it's like they don't believe it. I hope the numbness goes away soon. Please keep posting to us so we'll know what is happening with you.

Cake, please, please consider putting yourself first. I hope your daughter stays away from the abusive man. I truly believe she's addicted to him. Please take care of you. I don't want you to have seizures.

I had a perfectly lazy day yesterday. Belle and I watched tv all day and took a mental health break. The effexor hasn't started working yet, but the Pamelor is wearing off. I believe my speech pattern is back to normal. That's a good thing. I got my hair cut and my stylist told me I had really lost a lot of hair but I don't have a bald patch yet. Maybe it won't come to that.

Belle's feet didn't get cold enough for her to wear her socks. I'm going to have to proceed very slowly with them. I put one on her last night to see if it's the right fit. It's a small and it came all the way up to her "knee". She shook the whole time and was afraid to move until I took it off her.

I was sound asleep this morning and felt a "presence". I opened my eyes and saw four little black eyes staring earnestly at me. She was so close that I saw four instead of two!

I hope you all have a good day or at least as good as possible. I love you.

[Kiya]

Sooooo much worse.... this thing gets worse at night and has spread to right side. Shaking, crying, call in to on call dr. Body burning, stinging, loss of feeling in some places, freezing cold in others. Really scared.

So I did call 911 and went by ambulance. They tried to make me a *psych* patient!!!! I was flanked by 3 male security guards and a woman saying “you’re cleared medically” and “going to Red pod”, calling security over. 😡😳😡 omg I’m so mad!!! I yelled at them!!! The guy went to take my arm and put me in a wheel chair (I have male trauma) and I jerked my arm and started swearing at him. It nearly turned nasty. I yelled I was leaving and they finally let me- the oncall called right then and that turned the tables. I was on my way out the door knowing my mom would be here shortly. Mom will stay with me so they won’t treat me bad. I feel like the gal in “Brain On Fire” (book).

Soooo CT scan is normal (I hit my head in the shower yesterday so they had to take one... since they’re the ones who let me leave... &#128566. They were going to try to admit me just as a “fall risk”, but now I’m not at the level I was. I’ve had excedrin Ativan and potassium which all helped. I still can’t feel most of my body but there’s nothing they can do for me.im home and I go have the 24 hour EEG taped into my hair tomorrow. Yay.