[veggy]

i had gone on this marine help chat for my ex because the doctors i had to see said he may have ptsd, and so did the woman in the chat.. and his roommate in the barracks thinks something is going on with him too...

but what i don't understand is how they just let him carry on like that. he has the mentality that it is weak to get help. but they just let him go.. it's like they really don't care.

[Secret]

The best thing you can do is get as much information about PTSD as possible so you can understand some of his symptoms.
Don't call it a weak mentality about getting help. Many of us are so conditioned to believe that getting any kind of psych help means that you are a failure. That you just couldn't hack it.

[veggy]

Originally Posted by Secret

The best thing you can do is get as much information about PTSD as possible so you can understand some of his symptoms.
Don't call it a weak mentality about getting help. Many of us are so conditioned to believe that getting any kind of psych help means that you are a failure. That you just couldn't hack it.

Oh I didn't mean he has a weak mentality! I mean that he thinks it is weak of him to get help because he needs to be able to handle it alone. He's conditioned like you said.

I'm trying to learn about it and see if I can help him at all, but he refuses to speak to me now. He went from loving me and wanting to live with me to absolutely hating me once he found out about deployment.

[Perna]

Sounds like he's trying to save you and him from the pain of deployment, "pretending" to not care/hate you.

All you can do is support the best you are able.

[veggy]

Is there absolutely anything I can say to him that could help him see I want to be there for him during the deployment? Just in case I hadn't thought of it or it's a military thing...

[Perna]

I think it's a military and guy thing; I would promise to write and then do so, often (he has given you his address hasn't he?). Writing "normal" letters about everyday things and what you're doing might help him feel grounded and less swept away by his surroundings.

[veggy]

I don't even know when he's being deployed he left me so randomly that his grandma called to make sure I was okay and told me about the deployment. I now text him every morning that I love him and I hope he slept well and has a good day, and that I hope he calls soon. And then I text him goodnight as well. I'm just hoping he will calm down and talk to me before he goes because I desperately want to see him before he deploys.

[Perna]

That's too bad that he can't communicate but I'm glad you know his grandma; she'll probably have his address if he deploys without calming down and talking/seeing you first.

[veggy]

yeah.. but he told her not to speak to me anymore so she won't reply to me now. his cousins and his aunt told him they were going to speak with me anyway and one of his friends talked to me too.

[Secret]

If you know his unit ... after he deploys ask them for the address. They will give it to you. That way he can't get mad at his family LOL

[veggy]

all i know is he's in the 2/9. idk if that's enough? his aunt might give me the address if i ask her to get it, but he might not tell them because they know me.

i just have all this anxiety over it... i hope he's not sleeping around he's really not the type to sleep around for the sake of sleeping around, but if he knows he'll be deployed, he might be more likely to.

[veggy]

ugh.. he and i met on a forum, and i stopped trying to talk to him on there because he just ignored it. now that i've stopped, he actively seeks out my posts to comment to me, usually something rude.

if i try to talk to him, he ignores me. if i don't try to talk to him he gets mad. i am so confused.