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#1
Mar 23, 2010, 11:42 PM
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Saturday...
phone call, ex's car had been stolen thieves lost control, crashed into a tree, totaled young policeman very kind ex very ill with pneumonia already vulnerable... air show, many planes too many choppers flying over the treeline could see it in him..checking the tree line felt it in me...how many this time...casualties light? High Alert Again uneasy... came back here daughter's car had been broken in to stole minor items as she learned the last time around nothing of great value neighbor's back door kicked in alarm sent the cowards running immediate sense of being violated unsafe, not secure in any way ex slept from the illness and the drugs meant to heal him didn't heal the nightmares paced the floor during the night until exhaustion put me on the couch living room closest to the car port listened for any sound reminiscent of intruders was that way until this afternoon just could not go on any longer...slept three solid hours my home will be a fortress flood lights and alarms sidearms physically safe, mentally not so much FI...
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The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve... |
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#2
Mar 24, 2010, 12:31 AM
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__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
 Catherine2
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#3
Mar 24, 2010, 06:21 AM
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......my camp....my fortress.....
......do not enter......without permission... ......halt!.....who goes there..... ......advance and identify....... ......dopefiend.....crackhead.....drunk ......new nieghbor....... ......upstairs........ ......thunder from above...... ......thought I was fine...... ......my bad..................... ......thump......re-act........ ......just walk in my camp?.....without permission? ......lock and load.....not today....not today....... ......sleep?.......... ......one eye open.....the other? closed? ......the number to 911 is 911 ......remember?....I forgot.... ......the policeman is my friend...... ......the policeman is my friend...... ......remember?....I forgot...... ......I need to remember.......... ......group....va......yesterday....finally ......change.....again......... ......same group leader....two tour cbt nam..... ......ole soldier.......... ......twenty some years.....with the va..... ......out with the old......in with the new.......bs...... ....thanks C....sorry for ramblin', but I feel the same way..... ....just ain't got the cahoonas to start my own thread..... ....thanks for lettin' me borrow yours....... |
| Catherine2
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#4
Mar 24, 2010, 08:51 AM
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 (((((Cathrine))))) ((((Sparrowstail))))Sending many hugs and peaceful thoughts to you both, sitting with both of ya'll, I'll help keep watch, Love Typo |
| Catherine2
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#5
Mar 25, 2010, 03:39 PM
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thanks Yoda and Typo...I sincerely appreciate the support
sparrowstail, you know you can always borrow from me... hope we are both in a better place soon. I'm getting real tired of this Tired... Old... Tough...not as in tough old broad, tough as in spat out like a piece of meat and the worse is feeling so alone
__________________
The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve... |
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#6
Apr 02, 2010, 11:47 PM
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__________________
 notz |
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#7
Apr 03, 2010, 01:58 AM
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(((Catherine)))
__________________
 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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