[kaotikinside]

hey y'all.

i'm pretty new to the whole treatment deal. got court ordered after my most recent assault charge. here's the thing- alot of what y'all are saying rings LOUD bells with me.

i served with 4th infantry division as a bradley driver, gunner, and grenadier crunchy. later went to airborne school and carried a 240 with the eighty deuce.

my doc thinks i'm a psychopath, or some such nonsense- but i'm reading in here and wondering if ptsd is not a more accurate portrayal of my issues.

don't talk about this a whole lot, and i'm not sure how much of it i even believe. anyway- in the late winter/early spring of 97-98 my unit participated in a "minor police action". at our debrief, from what i recall (which is very, very hazy to be honest) we were basically told it never happened. my dd-214 says nothing about combat, but i DO have a notation for the army achievement award i received as a result of that action.

i'm really iffy on the specifics, but i know we had pretty heavy casualties.. or i think we did. i thought it was all just dreams until i met the senior chief from the u.s.s. kittyhawk, a few years ago. he says he was on deck when our helicopters landed after being pulled out unceremoniously (means we got sh!tcanned).

anyway. thanks for your service.

[NuckingFutz]

Your doc can not dx you as a psychopath without taking a test that Dr. Owen created. As far as the mission goes, there should be an actual certificate with the reason you received this award. Go with what is on the certificate. Wish I could help you more.

Hey Kaotic,

I remember when I first got out the service in 84'. I shacked up in a motel room for two weeks and litterary tried to drink myself to death, because of crap that didnt happen. Then, my blessing, which was my real mental illness kicked-in(d.i.d.).

From 84' til' 98' (civillian), I stood in front of the judge seven times for assault and, each time the judge ruled in my favor( I walked out the court room on my own free will).

Within the first three months of seperation of service, I was stabbed five times and had the drivers side of my xr7 ford courger riddled with seventeen rounds of 9mm(streets of balmer city).......and lived......because of service-connected crap that didnt happen......

I also lost, or forgot a years worth of time in service.

I found a letter, in my own handwriting, that I dont remember writing, stating how I felt, at the time of these incidences and it SCared the bajesus out of me

I stopped drinkin' and druggin' in 98', been plugged in to the VA since 99', was clean and sober for five years,(04'), before I was able to get the right/proper diagnosis from the va.....WOW....(still plugged in as of yesterday)...........

I also was awarded the AAM. I remember, it took me a year to realize I could wear it on my dress greens and when I did, I had an e-7 inspect me and he leaned in my face, as to inspect my shaving closeness, and asked "do you have orders to wear that"....and there I was, no rank on my sleeve, pvt. e-1, over two years in, with a fat-boy e-7 in my face that had it out for me, and he had no medals....and I replied "yes", he then moved closer to my ear and whisphered "your a mamma's boy".....yaa just dont know how bad I wanted to hit him......bammmm......right in the mouth......but I didnt.....

Anger, was and is, the first noticable symptom of my ptsd.....for me....

.........welcome kaotic.......hooraaa.......scouts out!