[crystalrose]

what do you do when a chat room on pc is triggering?? Like someone really needs support for feeling like Self Harming and its triggering.

What is appropriate for these topics in chat?

What is something gone a bit too far?

[Christina86]

Hi crystalrose,

Generally speaking: The Support Room would be the best place to discuss triggering topics, like self-harm and eating disorders or abuse stuff (just as examples). Unless there is a specific hosted chat going on, then it's probably expected certain issues will come up.

The rules of chat are that we do not allow those who are intoxicated or drinking in chat - so no alcohol or being drunk while in chat. We also ask suicidal members to find support offline for immediate needs because PC is pretty anonymous and we cannot necessarily help someone since this is online.

The Social Room is for fun and lighthearted topics. If a topic becomes too serious or triggering, it really ought to move elsewhere.

We ask that members do NOT have a conversation in the Lobby, it should be a place where you get INTO chat but move into a more applicable room in chat to have a conversation.

The 21+ room and the Teen room are pretty self-explanatory.

And any member is free to make their own room (if you don't know how to, please ask!) where you can discuss stuff providing it's not against the Community Guidelines, or the TOS (Terms of Service).

If a member or discussion is triggering, you can put members on "Ignore" in chat - the "ignore" function in Chat is different than the Ignore function on the forums. They don't transfer, so if you've "ignored" someone on the forums, you'll still be able to see their messages in chat. Same goes for the vice versa - Ignoring someone in chat doesn't mean you are ignoring them on the forums.

To Ignore a member, I believe you hover over their username in chat and there should be an option there.

If you're ever not sure about someone breaking the rules or a triggering conversation and you're not sure what to do - you can PM an online moderator or admin. If none of us are online, you can save a copy of the chat (click the floppy disk icon in chat, and then save the open file somewhere you can find it on your computer) and then copy and paste it in a PM to any one of us. We'll take a look and deal with it if something needs to be dealt with.

I hope that answers at least part of your question. I'm not a very eloquent speaker like _sabby_ or DocJohn, but I figured you should get a response sooner rather than later.

[crystalrose]

Thanks,
There was a situation today where there was a person discussing self harm in support but was implicitly saying that it was better than doing something else and etc which i wont write. where is the boundary??

[Christina86]

The boundary is a bit of gray area I think some of the time.

For self injurious discussion, sometimes it can verge on suicidal conversations which is *not* allowed. But it can also be very graphic, which isn't necessarily the best idea. In cases where you know you're going to trigger others, sometimes I've made my own private room. In other cases, if I know I'm triggered by a specific topic or too much indepth information about a topic, I leave the room. Do whatever you need to do for self-care, because you are important.

Sometimes we're not always able to be a support for people who need it, but that's okay -- we are all here ultimately to help ourselves first. We need to put ourselves in a priority position so we learn to take care of ourselves first.

(All of this is in my own opinion, I can't really speak for any actual rules for Chat. I will inform DocJohn so he'll hopefully be able to weigh in with his comments).

[cantstopcrying]

I can't believe you think you are not an eloquent speaker. Your answer was terrific!

[sabby]

Another thing to keep in mind in the chat rooms is that the Community Guidelines Apply there as well! If something is outside of the guidelines on the forums, it is the same in chat.

If members wish to discuss something that is triggering and more detailed, they can and should make their own private rooms for those discussions.

As far as suicidal members go, no one here, not even the mod/admin team are trained to deal with this kind of situation. That member needs to find IRL help, call 911, go to ER, call friend or family to sit with them, whatever they can do to help themselves. No member should ever feel badly if they cannot help another member through something like this. It's very difficult even for the most seasoned or stable individuals. There is also information on PC that a member can access for assistance in what to do when feeling this way.

SI can also be very triggering to discuss. Discussion of how a member is doing SI and the results etc, are against guidelines on the forums and in chat as well. Mention of it is fine, details not so good.

Every member that joins chat is responsible for their triggers and their own self care. One can put someone on ignore, one can leave the chat room, one can pm a mod/admin regarding the problem. Do what is best for YOU to keep you safe.....that is the name of the game my friends!

I'm glad this was brought up, it's good to have reminders every now and again and for our newer members to read up on

All my best!
sabby

I think it is important to remember too that some topics are TOTALLY unacceptable on any portion of the site:

-Pedophiles talking about abusing or wanting to abuse others
-Abusers of any kind discussing ways or graphically explaining abuse they have perpetrated.
-Discussion of a member in directly negative terms when that member is not there to defend themselves(and really, even if they are, take it up in private)
-Rude, or mean actions to others in chat

again, if you are questioning something, dont get involved although you may want to. Copy the chat, send it off to one of the mods. Getting yourself mucked up in it usually never goes well. If you want to say something you can simply say you dont feel this chat follows guidelines and you cant stay.

I hope that makes sense.