[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

"It makes me uncomfortable because I feel like it feeds the disease not the cure."

Just because in your phase you are done with switching does not mean others can not benefit from this. As I stated above, it is known that in therapy, having the alters come out and express themselves freely helps in the recovery. It is known that they do have their own lives and feelings and memories and that they need to be able to feel safe and come out to express those.

"I'm not judging you or saying you aren't entitled to your opinions and to post freely, I'm saying I feel like I can't freely say what troubles me in such threads. I'm talking about feeling shoved out myself if I don't talk about alters as if they are real people."

It should not be about whether or not they are real people but whether or not their feelings and minds are true and real. And they are. They may be a split off from one personality but they are all real minds.

Just because they go by different names and have different ideas and memories don't make them "real". The definition of a person is a human being who possesses certain atributes of character. Who have minds, who think, who has a past present or future, rights, duties... Etc. Now tell me, no matter who is out that we are not a real person? Just because we switch does not mean that I, my body, and my alters are not real. I'm as real, as well as they, as they come. The term real means The state of things as they actually actually exist rather than they appear to be. Sounds like alters are pretty real to me. They don't "appear" to be there but in reality are not. DID is a REAL condition with REAL alters that just split. How can anyone decide what is real or not with someone else? Otherwise we would call them imaginary friends.

" I merely mentioned it here and already you've 'corrected' me. That's what I'm referring to."

I am sorry you feel that I have corrected you but when you post on here you are going to get responses that you don't like or agree too. You ask opinions and you post threads to get feed back and that's what has been given. I have not attacked, nor will I ever, your credibility or your right to be on this thread. I have never asked to have any non DID members removed from this thread and placed in another thread nor have I ever complained of getting responses from alters. Because I am thankful for each and every heart felt response. If it wasn't heartfelt, others would not take the time to read and write back. Even my response here and above are heart felt because I do understand you feeling isolated but remember no one can make us feel a certain way emotionally, we chose whether or not we let those emotions get the best of us.

"The point of therapy was to change that though, not reinforce it. " The point of therapy is to learn to live co consciously for some, the point for others is to obtain information, the point for others is like you say to change that thought and the point for others is to learn to have better control. We are all in different phases of our recovery. And we all have different goals and reasons for therapy. The point of YOUR therapy may have been to change that thought however the point of my therapy was to become co conscious and allow myself to switch more willingly. To listen more to my alters and such. We are all in it for different reasons. Please be kind to remember that because you're not the only one who hurts from these things. I know many people who hurt from being called "not real" only because they are a split personality.

I'm sorry if I offended either one of you, I assure you it was not my intention. Sometimes I speak strongly and it's taken the wrong way. I just am trying to explain the other side of this debate if that's what it's turned into.

[pgrundy]

I'm not offended. I'm just explaining why I understand both the feelings behind this thread and the reasons the moderators don't want to make changes.

I don't think I ever said I'm the only one who gets uncomfortable on this board or that things should be arranged so I never feel uncomfortable. I feel like I said the opposite of that, actually. So again, your long post replying to what I said point by point feels like a lecture or a correction. Of course you are entitled to have your own goals in therapy and to feel what you feel. I'm talking about why I (me, not you) don't feel comfortable in the DID discussions. I think I'm also entitled to my feelings, no?

In all fairness, I know there are different therapeutic approaches to DID and different ways of looking at it. When we go into therapy we have to make choices about what feels helpful and what doesn't. It's hard for me to understand why anyone would want to maintain a dissociative identity structure as a normal way of being in the world, but I know some people do, and that's their right.

So again, I'm not attacking you. If this what you describe is helpful to you then of course by all means pursue it. I'm saying it isn't helpful to ME. I don't see why you feel it's so terrible to share that. I see it as a legitimate and important issue in psychotherapy, and the fact that the DSM changed the diagnostic category from MPD (which implies separate personalities or people) to DID (which implies various aspects on one person separated by dissociation by trauma) seems to support that it's a controversial topic and OK to discuss.

I'm also sorry if I've offended you in some way. That wasn't my intent.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I wrote the long response quoting you because I wanted to make sure you knew what I was referring to in the response and did not think I was all over the place or think I meant something when I did not. The reason for the quotes was to clarify and make sure everything was written in a way easiest to understand. It was not to lecture or correct you but to respond to your message. The same as you responded to mine, but with more detail so it does not get confused.

I never said you were not entitled to your own feelings or anything of that sort in my post, what was said is that alters are entitled as well. It does not have to be one or the either. It does not have to be "real" or "fake" what does it matter if they are alters cores or anything if their response is genuine and true?

I never said anyone was not entitled to their own opinions, I simply was giving my own opinion and feelings on the subject. I often apologized for the uncomfortable feelings others feel due to myself and those within, this shows that I am not saying you should not express or have feelings but that I do value and care for the feelings of yourself and others. I replied in quotes so my words could not be misunderstood and read between the lines but it appears I have failed at that.

[pgrundy]

You didn't fail at anything. I understood what you were saying about DID and how your process works with that.

I'm sorry this has been so inflammatory. Seriously, I get what you're saying. Thank you for making all that effort.

[sabby]

I'd like to thank everyone for their opinions and comments on this thread. Since DocJohn has explained to you his decision and until it changes, that is where it stands.

This is a very difficult disorder not only for those who are dx'ed with it, but also for others to understand it. No two individuals diagnosed with this disorder are the same. Each has their own experience in life as well as in therapy. No two are the same. Please let's not go down the road questioning or denying what any ones' experience has been for them.

At this time, I'm going to close this thread. If you feel you want DocJohn to hear your comments regarding a sub forum, please direct those comments to him via pm.

Respectfully,
sabby