[Gus1234U]

it seems i may have inadvertently caused a little fuss by posting a farewell to my good friend in Kudos. i did this because it pains me to not know what happened to those i felt close to, in the past, and who just vanished without a trace. i have those catastrophic fantasies, in which people die,, (they do , sometimes, you know), and no one bothers to tell the virtual friends. it was the great outpouring of affection and respect that salvaged one of our great intellects and prodigious posters, and i thank all who cared enough to say so. if that great outpouring of support changes a person's life, then GOOD, i say~!!

and if they choose to return under another name, be glad. this sniping at vulnerable people, as if they are worthless and invulnerable is appalling to me. how can it be tolerated that the same person is provoked and attacked constantly by a mob of crows, and the site still maintains it has a policy of Support ? i just hope that there is more conversation over this issue, and not less. and more supportive kinds of conversations, too. best wishes,,, Gus

[horseontheloose]

Gus, I don't know what was said, but I'm confused as to why there was a fuss. It sounds innocent to me. I have thought about the people I like so much here, and what if something happens to them? I would want to know. I know people have gotten attacked here too. This is suppose to be a safe, sharing, and caring place to go. I don't like to see somebody in a support chat room that gets blown off. That is sad to me. If I have hurt somebodies feelings, it was not intentional. There's no reason for it, and I would expect someone to gently let me know. Your friend, HOTL

[DocJohn]

I'm sorry it pains a person to not know what happens to another member when they choose to leave and also choose not to tell others before doing so. We have no policy against a member PMing other members and friends in private and letting them know of their decision. If a member did so, I would hazard to guess most members would find they would receive a lot of support (for both their decision, and encouragement to stay).

We do have a policy of not allowing such posts to be made publicly. We forbid such posts because of too many past experiences where well-meaning members (and a tiny percentage who were perhaps not as well-meaning) would change their minds after posting they were leaving. While I'm all for people having a change of heart, it brings up a lot of public drama in the community when members go back and forth about such things. Members complain of feeling used, or wondering when another member is really "serious."

Your post was inbetween the two, since it wasn't a leaving post per se, but a "thank you" post to a member who chose to leave (and therefore, highlighting the fact they chose to leave). Since it was about a member that other members have mixed feelings about, we did indeed leave the post alone, but then closed it after a sufficient period of time where people could express themselves on the matter.

Everyone here has been or is a vulnerable person, even those members you might think are "sniping." I would encourage you to always consider that people aren't always all that they seem through what they say here (we get one facet of a person, the one they choose to share with us), and to give others the benefit of the doubt when attributing unflattering motives to them.

Best,
DocJohn