I've been banned two days in a row now for swearing in the chat, despite the words already being blocked out. I understand the premise, you don't want people swearing a blue streak, but most smart people (Myself excluded) just circumvent the software and type the words with a space in them defeating the purpose of said ban system. 10 words I might add is nothing. I rarely swear. I'm really not the type to swear every second word however it does come out in me at times. I know it gives you the warning at 9, but I just got kicked despite knowing exactly what would happen if I let one word slip on account of the previous days ban. I type to fast to think "Oh yeah. This system is broken as is going to ban me for my blanked out word". Seriously needs to be looked at for a change or perhaps making private rooms created by users allowed to swear and so on. Thoughts on that Doc?

[DocJohn]

The ban is on purpose and with some thought going into it.

We're an all-ages community here, and while you may feel perfectly comfortable swearing in your everyday life, that's not language that's family-friendly.

And, in fact, if you find you can't speak without throwing in a swear word in every other sentence or two, that may be something to consider. Think of it as a challenge to building your vocabulary, self-awareness, and self-restaint!

DocJohn

[possum220]

If you say you rarely swear then why do it in chat?

You're right, I could work on self restraint but I refuse to unless I have a reason to. Why is swearing bad. If you can give me a legitimate reason why swearing is bad I'll be more than happy to accept it however there's never been any reason why words should be treated differently than any others. Words are words and just cause a 70 year old lady decided she was offended by it doesn't mean all of society has to agree with her premise.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by FERFA

You're right, I could work on self restraint but I refuse to unless I have a reason to.

Those are the rules here, if you don't abide by those rules then you'll just get banned again. Good enough reason surely!

[allimsaying]

ME to ME: Just mind your own business, just mind your own business.

FERFA 2/17/13: Words are words and just cause a 70 year old lady decided she was offended by it doesn't mean all of society has to agree with her premise.

FERFA 2/12/13: ...on a site like this I feel like it's important for us to up our selflessness game.

Expressing ourselves is hard, I understand.

All I'm saying is how hard is it to make it so it doesn't let people under 21+ into that chat. Doesn't the site require you give an age? Surely there's software that could make that happen if you're so concerned about these kids and swearing (Again, blanked out swearing). Guaranteed they hear worse at school.

[pegasus]

Swearing loses it's power if you use it all the time, why do you feel you need to swear? In real life we are taught not to swear and it's not good or cool to do it. There is a 21+ chat room but there are many of us over 21 that don't want to hear swearing unless it is for a genuine good reason.

[allimsaying]

I have nothing to do with making rules FERFA, thats why I felt I needed to mind my own business. I am here to support you tho. I swear a lot too, just sometimes that is all the words that I can get out. I feel lousy doing it tho. Your talking about freedom of speech which isnt really completely free. I know you want to express yourself and I believe you are a very sincere person. I dont know how the software works but what you suggested seems reasonable. I dont own the site, not my choice. I understand the family friendly rule. I think theres lots of places to go to swear your heart out if you need to.

Originally Posted by pegasus

Swearing loses it's power if you use it all the time, why do you feel you need to swear? In real life we are taught not to swear and it's not good or cool to do it. There is a 21+ chat room but there are many of us over 21 that don't want to hear swearing unless it is for a genuine good reason.

I'm going to say it a third time. It's ****ing blocked. You don't have to "See" anything.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by FERFA

I'm going to say it a third time. It's ****ing blocked. You don't have to "See" anything.

I know exactly what those **** are. Rules are rules, they are there for a good reason. Accept it or get banned, it's as simple as that.

Originally Posted by pegasus

I know exactly what those **** are. Rules are rules, they are there for a good reason. Accept it or get banned, it's as simple as that.

Not sure where you're from but where I'm from people have freedom of speech and I am publicly putting my vote in for a real 21+ room. Not a faux one.

[OldSchoolBill]

I joined Psych Central & will follow the rules!!

I Did Not join FERFA Central

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. !Albert Einstein

[elliemay]

You know, in the larger scheme of things, ferfa, how much energy do you want to spend on this?

Pick your battles wisely. There are plenty of chats where everything is pretty much fair game. This just happens to not be one of them.

It hardly seems worth it. Especially since Dr. Jon has already weighed in.

[unaluna]

Do you want a reason? Swearing is abusive. It's the language of abusers. It's used to scare and intimidate. It's hostile. We are trying to get along without taking on the characteristics of our abusers. You seem to be identifying with them. Maybe you are raising a good point, that younger people tend to swear more because they feel powerless.

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by hankster

Do you want a reason? Swearing is abusive. It's the language of abusers. It's used to scare and intimidate. It's hostile. We are trying to get along without taking on the characteristics of our abusers. You seem to be identifying with them. Maybe you are raising a good point, that younger people tend to swear more because they feel powerless.

Wow Hankster! I never thought of this. I used to swear like a sailor. Now it's only when I'm stressed (feeling pwoerles???)

[lizardlady]

FERFA, part of maturing is realizing there are rules in life. If we don't like the rules we can lobby to have them changed. You tired that and Doc John said things are going to stay as is.

If we lobby to have the rules changed and they remain the same we have a couple of choices - learn to live within the rules or break the rules and experience the consequences. As others have said, there are plenty of places on the web with chat rooms. If you don't like PC's rules why not go to one of those other places?

I've accepted it. Doesn't mean I have to like it. Will just make sure in the future to get good like everyone else at making them visible so I don't get banned by the system. If you're offended by "Hostile words", then don't talk to me. It's simply. Also for the record any word can be hostile when used in certain contexts. APPLE! You speak about maturity and yet can't handle words hearing certain words. Grow a pair.

[(JD)]

... why not make your own chat room? You can make it private and talk how you all agree to talk in there, and not let anyone in who complains? Be sure you aren't hanging out in the lobby too...many members do that and it's just a place to land when you go into the chat area, and not for conversation so no one gets triggered or insulted or feels left out etc... go into lobby and move on to a chat room.

Well, just because the censor works, or doesn't, doesn't mean we aren't all responsible for our words whether in a hidden form like initials or &$#@* symbols.

It's never easy to be reprimanded, and to be dressed down really hits our egoes... but toughen up and figure out a way to stick around and keep the rules?

I've often suggested to a newcomer to make a private chat room and go experiment with the attributes of chat... that includes typing all the cuss words you wish, to see which are censored as really bad, and which ones might slip through and you have to be more cautious in typing.

[-jimi-]

I do swear in my normal life but not a lot. I live in a culture where swear words are accepted and you can swear on TV. But I assume in the American culture swearing is sensed as harsher than here and that is why people are sensitive to it. So I'll accept it even if I do find it strange.

[Gus1234U]

Civil Disobedience is a time-honored method of protest against rigid dictatorial rules.
Burning at the Stake is a time-honored method of enforcing such rules.
which is worse?

[Inedible]

They just burned a "witch" recently in Papua New Guinea. And before that, in 2009.

It has been a while, but aren't words like document still censored in chat?

Doc John is right....expand your vocabulary. If you do that, you can say whatever you like and be quite graphic about it without a swear word anywhere in sight. It'll also make people who don't know the words shake their heads in confusion and provide a knowing smile to those who "get it"....an inside joke so to speak.

Originally Posted by FERFA

Not sure where you're from but where I'm from people have freedom of speech and I am publicly putting my vote in for a real 21+ room. Not a faux one.

Freedom of speech is something granted by the Constitution in public places, not in a private forum, and those rights only extend so far. We are not allowed, under those rules, to curse out a judge, or example, or openly threaten anyone. Freedom of speech allows us to speak what is on our minds, yes, but we are still expected to say whatever is on our minds in a respectable manner. Any private institution has the ability to make up and enforce its own rules and if you don't like them you don't join, as simple as that. It's not like the rules were not stated outright.

My husband used to work at AOL back in the old days and received calls from people after their accounts were suspended for vulgar language. They gave the same excuse.....Freedom of Speech. Freedom of Speech does not exist in privately owned companies and organizations and it never has.

[yellowted]

this site caters for teenage kids as well as adults, it is hard enough for parents to bring up kids correctly without them being subject to swearing on sites that are supposed to be there to support them.
the young teens are still in some cases just begining to become aware of some swear words, if they see them on here they are likely to use them at school or when talking to their granny or vicar with out realising that they are not good words to use...very embarrassing for their parents and even more important it could get the child suspended from their education!
Adults here have a responsibility to restrict their language to that which is non offensive. I am by no way a 70 year old lady but i certainly do not want to be subject to a torrade of swear words on this site