[MoxieDoxie]

I just wanted to state my feelings about members allowed in multiple rooms at the same time. I feel this leaves the chat room an unsafe place when a member is in a vulnerable state and there is another member that is triggering and obnoxious. It is then impossible to go into a different chat room to get away from them and the other alternative is not to be in the chat room at all or go to a chat room that has no members, which defeats the purpose of being in the chat room to begin with. Then it also leaves the vulnerable member open to be followed to other chat rooms, teased and taunted and stalked(Bullied). This is just a dangerous feature to a population that is already struggling with many issues. They do not need to be further open to attack from those with a more aggressive mental disorder that are not in a state of controlling it well yet.

Thanks for listening.

[sabby]

Moxie, since I'm not DocJohn I can't say anything about how the chat program works or allows members to be in more than one chat room at a time. What I can do though is to give you some ideas on how to help yourself or other members who may be struggling.

There is a way to "ignore" users in the chatrooms. Right click on the username and click on "ignore". That way no one has to be bothered by the other member. It may not be a perfect solution, but it's a good one I believe.

The other option is to create a password protected private chatroom for yourselves so that no one can interrupt your chat. Again, maybe not the perfect solution in your mind, but a good choice to fix the issue.

[DocJohn]

What you're describing is clearly against our community guidelines and the member should be reported.

There's nothing about the ability to be in multiple rooms at the same time that makes harassment significantly easier than just following the user from room to room in the old system. Sure, it took the harasser a little more work, but it still occasionally occurred. Harassment is harassment, and we don't tolerate it in our community.

Report it, and we will look into the matter further.

DocJohn

[MoxieDoxie]

I am trying to be understanding and compassionate to those who are not fully aware of how their disorder is causing others harm. I am not going to report anyone because I understand they are not in a good state of recovery. I know I have been there and to be reported can cause to much hurt. We teach each other so much in here from learning to be empathetic to other peoples plight, social skills, listening skills and how to behave during difficult times. I will just stay out of the chat rooms for a while because it is to triggering for me and we should only blame ourselves for how we feel not others.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

I am trying to be understanding and compassionate to those who are not fully aware of how their disorder is causing others harm. I am not going to report anyone because I understand they are not in a good state of recovery. I know I have been there and to be reported can cause to much hurt. We teach each other so much in here from learning to be empathetic to other peoples plight, social skills, listening skills and how to behave during difficult times. I will just stay out of the chat rooms for a while because it is to triggering for me and we should only blame ourselves for how we feel not others.

I can understand you not wanting to report someone but doing that can cause more harm to you and others...

example on another mental health website there was a situation that had to be dealt with where I witnessed this same thing happening to a fellow member in the chat rooms. she refused to report. the end result was this member continued to harass not only her but branched out to stalk/harass others too. this member could not learn that her behavior was wrong because no one was willing to report her. this went on for a time and people stopped visiting the chat rooms all because they were afraid of being harassed by this one member. with no one willing to stand up and report this woman the chat rooms became not a safe place for everyone but a place for abuse and wide spread PTSD. As a result the website owner decided to discontinue the chat feature. but this did not solve the problem. the harassing member still had no idea they were doing something wrong so they carried on the offending behavior on the boards. unlike here the boards were not moderated unless someone reported an offending post. no one wanted to report this person and the boards became a place of abuse/harassment. no one felt safe. it got to the point where people were just not going there because they didnt feel safe. the site is still running but its just a free for all of members stalking/harrassing others until the one being harassed stalked leaves...

my point is why give someone that much control over your life. if this was happening in real time (not on the computer) and someone was harassing another well here where I live and work thats grounds for arrest and prosecution. its against the law.

we see many people here where I live and work in domestic violence/ rape situations where I dont want to report has turned into the perp abusing others until finally someone is strong enough to say no more, this abuse cycle ends with me.

this is why when I find offending posts or see someone in any website boards/chat rooms I always report. this way the moderators can do their job of checking on the offending posts and chats to see if what is going on goes against the rules of the site and help the person to understand what needs to change in order to keep everyone safe.

please dont give another person so much power over you that they are going to chase you out of chat rooms and worse. the only way they are going to know they are doing wrong is if someone stands up and says no more. And if you aren't going to do it for yourself, do it for your friends who may also be going through this and just not saying because they are too afraid or their own mental problems may be affecting them (your friends and other members) so that they may not understand harassment is wrong.