so i'd like to suggest something:

currently, if someone is on your ignore list, you can't reply to their thread. (at all)

i'd like to suggest that you are able to reply to their thread, but not to their message directly

say if the person on ignore said something, and then someone underneath replied with a comment, i could still quote that person, but not hit reply- because that indicates that you are replying to the person who is ignoring you

thoughts?

their's also an option (i've noticed), where if you are ignoring someone and they have posted, you have a chance to see what the reply says, without actually taking them off ignore

maybe something like that can work for replying to posts

[healingme4me]

I'd like to see the ignore feature reviewed myself. My issue with it, is that sometimes something I post triggers and it spirals and spirals and spirals.

Personally, I wish it was more like on FB where if I block someone, they can't see me at all and I can't see them at all. The current ignore feature is more of an illusion than an actual protection.

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I'd like to see the ignore feature reviewed myself. My issue with it, is that sometimes something I post triggers and it spirals and spirals and spirals.

i don't get what you mean.

or that should be, i know what you're saying, but can't make the connection between that and the ignore feature

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i don't get what you mean.

or that should be, i know what you're saying, but can't make the connection between that and the ignore feature

I wish the ignore feature could be more versatile. If I'm just being myself and someone is bothered by me and doesn't use ignore, it's not right to force me to need to use ignore.

I unloaded my ignore list several weeks ago, because of some literature that I've read up on, about how to handle specific online interactions.

Now we have trigger code settings within messages themselves, which would seem to alleviate many of the reasons for ignoring, it would seem.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Personally, I wish it was more like on FB where if I block someone, they can't see me at all and I can't see them at all. The current ignore feature is more of an illusion than an actual protection.

Something along that lines, is how I have felt.
I think I remember that discussion and because of the server there's issue.

Versatility could include blocking pm's from a list or wall postings. Currently it's all or nothing.

[(JD)]

The proper way to post in nearly any board like this IS to the Topic and not to the person.

It takes more time to reply that way though...but that's not such a bad thing either imo.

It means using more "I" statements and not "you" retorts... It means looking at the subject matter, the topic itself and then, to keep the thread going when a post that provokes a reply, rephrasing that thought into a statement that counters or supports it...

I think it would be wonderful to fully block another lock, stock, and barrel but I don't think it's possible on this format, nor on even newer formats, from what I see.

[Perna]

The ignore feature is to help the person doing the ignoring, it does not impact the person being ignored. If someone has a problem and starts a thread and you are on their ignore list, they do not want your input for whatever reason. If you are interested in the subject or what someone else says, you can easily start your own post. The only problem I have is that I don't remember whose ignore list I may be on (I don't use ignore) so I might write a message replying to them and only after be told I cannot post to that thread. Posts and their subject belong to the person who starts them, the original poster, and one is supposed to be replying to them and helping them, not doing side posts to others in the thread. If I come to a thread late, I only read the original poster's posts before I answer myself, see what they are asking/responding. I like to practice my focus that way.

[(JD)]

I think it if were possible to have at the top of each thread IF you are on the OPs ignore list... that way I wouldn't have to do a "test post" to see, and then edit it if I get to post. OR being able to have all the members I have on ignore listed in it's own bar along the top of the page A simple "you may not reply in this thread" or "you may reply in this thread" would suffice really...if it were available.

[Fuzzybear]

[Open Eyes]

"Some" people need the ignore because they really don't want to hear another point of view, it's that simple. Instead they prefer to have others post that will agree with whatever "their" ideology or opinion is.

"Some" people use the ignore because for some reason another member may be triggering them too.

A lot depends on where someone may be in their challenge if they are struggling with a MI and want to interact but just need to feel safe while doing so.

[*Laurie*]

I've never put anyone on an ignore list and I hope I never do. To me, the internet is the same as the real world: all kinds of people, some with experiences and opinions that are very different from mine. I like to practice diplomacy, maybe, and deep down I believe that everyone wants the same thing...to be cared about, heard, respected.
Just some of my thoughts on the 'ignore' subject.

[Open Eyes]

Oh, good for you LauraBeth and I am sure others would like to be that way too. Unfortunately, for some, they are sensitive and may have been exposed to family or siblings or spouse that were constantly critical of them, so much so that a criticism can be triggering/upsetting to them. It's always a good idea to keep mindful that there are many individuals that have been victims that interact on this site. It is even a good idea to click on their name and read their about me so that one can get an idea of that person's challenges too.

For whatever reason someone does use an ignore, it is really meant to help them feel "safe". So, if you ever happen to discover you are on someone's ignore list, it may not be "you" so much as for some reason that individual just needed to exclude your input in their threads or interactions.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Oh, good for you LauraBeth and I am sure others would like to be that way too. Unfortunately, for some, they are sensitive and may have been exposed to family or siblings or spouse that were constantly critical of them, so much so that a criticism can be triggering/upsetting to them. It's always a good idea to keep mindful that there are many individuals that have been victims that interact on this site. It is even a good idea to click on their name and read their about me so that one can get an idea of that person's challenges too.

For whatever reason someone does use an ignore, it is really meant to help them feel "safe". So, if you ever happen to discover you are on someone's ignore list, it may not be "you" so much as for some reason that individual just needed to exclude your input in their threads or interactions.

Thank you Open Eyes. In no way do I mean to sound self-righteous, because I'm not. I came from a childhood home in which (TRIGGER WARNING)


...my mother and I were physically abused & I was sexually abused by my step-father. My mother was an intense borderline personality & was also terribly abusive toward me. My childhood home was a hell on earth as far as level of abuse. My mother was viciously critical of me...no one on this forum could come close to the strength of criticism toward me my own mother was capable of. I look back and I'm really proud of coming through all that and breaking the cycle of abuse with my own wonderful children. HARD WORK!! Fortunately, I've pretty much worked through the abuse issues (pretty much). These days what tends to trigger me more is grief and loss, because I've experienced way too much of that. But, let's face it: the abuse stuff will always be a sore spot.

I was incredibly fortunate to obtain 6 years of intensive therapy through the Veteran's Administration; the approach to therapy in that context was basically that once I was past the age of 1 the world was no longer a safe place, so work through my issues and deal with life as it is, not the way I might want it to be. If someone doesn't agree with me well, that's life. Set healthy boundaries when I need to and learn the skills to cope. So. I live by that philosophy because it works for me. I find life very challenging and, the older I get, the tougher life gets. But every day I work hard to live my life as successfully as I can.

What you said about not personalizing an 'ignore' is spot on. Because just being put on an ignore list is enough to trigger some very painful memories and feelings for some people.

[sabby]

This thread has run it's course and will now be closed.