I'm glad that you are staying. So sorry you went through that.
A long time ago, somewhere else far, far away. I looked for support for what I struggled with in my marriage. I felt like I was harrassed in a way or at least invalidated and unsupported over well your h doesn't have that yet. We used undx in written descriptors. Lo and behold after an incident a couple years later...guess what my ex h has? Yeah...soo...
To me it's more of being kind to others the best you can because you just don't know what struggles others are living through.