[Trace14]

Do you ever feel like you are too tired about talking about all this anymore? You can't see beyond today, just getting through the day is struggle? I see myself turning in to my Dad and the end result wasn't good. That turning point is just not coming around.

[Trace14]

I know this is not going to help with this new T. Before I was dumping bucket loads of info out for the old T and that was hard enough. I just want to be "Caught in the Quiet" for a while.

I hear you. It's important to talk about it with a professional. You realize new things about your condition and its cause all of the time. Usually, non-trained people like parents really don't understand despite their good (if that) intentions. (My Mom did not want to hear anyone's problems but her own.)

CPTSD is a difficult condition. From what my new T tells me, it will take a very long time to make progress with it. On a daily basis, I struggle as do we all. My only advice is not to discuss it with anyone who is not sympathetic and empathetic. If your Dad cannot meet those requirements then you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and possible further hurt. Ts are far from perfect but they should at least offer sympathy and empathy. It may not sound like much but, honestly, it is.

We all want a cure. It's disappointing that there are only treatments to possible help deal with the condition. That's the best we can accept. I know that it's very imperfect and not a solution at all. Accept for the moment what helps, however slight, and doesn't hurt / injure further.

[Open Eyes]

Yes, that does happen where one is tired about talking about the trauma in their history. It can seem to bring up the uncomfortable feelings and emotions that go along with whatever is in that history.

For myself, I have been dealing with a long drawn out situation where a trauma is literally kept in the "now" with my lawsuit. I have also been involved in some family challenges that have brought challenges from my history into the "now" too.

I think what is important is not so much about talking about one's history over and over, but instead working through whatever challenged you that you can learn to gain new skills at in resolving and functioning in the now, in spite of whatever did take place in your history that hurt you in some way.

What took place with your father was "traumatic" and experiencing something like that is a challenge to slowly heal from. Healing is realizing that you cannot change what took place, you cannot take that trauma away from being part of your life experience either, however, you can grieve that, and slowly come to a point that you can find your way to moving forward in "your own life" aside from that experience. It is VERY important you do not conclude that you are doomed the same path he took, instead you will work through that and help yourself and even others in ways he did not find a way to do. We ARE all separate from each other in that we can actually do "better" or "more than" a parent on our own life path. Actually, we are designed to do just that but "patience" is the key, and I know it can be hard some days, even very depressing, some of that is "normal" and it doesn't mean you have to retreat from moving forward. We learn to do that one day at a time, whether we realize it or not, it's in our design.

[Trace14]

Just found out 65 people in my dept have lost their jobs today. My heart is breaking for them. To come into work thinking everything was okay and be escorted out within an hour.

[Open Eyes]

Oh Trace, I have heard of that happening in work places, I don't think that is fair at all, I think people deserve a notice first so they can have time to sort it out. I think it's awful to be told you don't have a job and then be escorted out like you are some kind of criminal.

I can't blame you for feeling "sorry" for the individuals that experience this, I feel sorry for them not even knowing them.

((Supportive Hugs))
OE

[Trace14]

It's like having multi deaths in the family at one time.