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#1
Jul 19, 2015, 05:49 PM
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I think I may have complex PTSD.
I was diagnosed with PTSD -- my trauma started when I was about 3 years old. Probably earlier as the home I lived in growing up was utterly filthy and there was a lot of neglect. I was abused by four different men from the ages of 3-11. Then was in an abusive/controlling marriage. First man I dated after getting out assaulted me...it's like it just keeps coming...over and over... It's such a struggle...I feel so alone...so different. I've never "fit" anywhere. Like I was born defective somehow. It's so difficult to find hope. |
 Anonymous37913, avlady, knit roses
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#2
Jul 19, 2015, 06:07 PM
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Hello PB welcome to the forum. Sorry for the life you have had to endure. Many of us here have traveled some rough roads so we know some of what you might be feeling. had you tried counseling?
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 pinkbutterfly
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#3
Jul 19, 2015, 11:52 PM
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oh yes...I am in counseling. I've made a great deal of progress...but still feeling very stuck. About a week ago, I drove past the house I was assaulted in about a year and a half ago. Didn't think ti would bother me because I couldn't remember the house. But as soon as I saw it everythign flooded back.
And everything is related to something earlier... |
| Anonymous37913, avlady
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#4
Jul 20, 2015, 04:03 AM
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i am sorry about your story, so sad and young. i hope the rest of your life is filled with joy and happiness if you can and will get over this. i will pray for you if you don't mind.
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| pinkbutterfly
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#5
Jul 20, 2015, 06:52 AM
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Let your counselor know you are stuck, they can help you move through that period and learn how to address other triggers. Also need to talk to them about how you were feeling about that house. I've found this is something you can't go around, you have to go through it and develop tools to keep it in check. If that don't work have "tune ups" with your T.
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| pinkbutterfly
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#6
Jul 21, 2015, 03:09 PM
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Thanks for your responses. Yeah...I'm definitely talking with T about it. It's so difficult, but I know it's what I need to do. I have to keep moving forward...even if it's just an inch at a time
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| Trace14
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#7
Jul 25, 2015, 09:29 PM
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You did a very brave thing driving by that place. It unlocked the things you and your T can work with. Memories bursting like that overwhelm me. I couldn't even go alone to Google Earth to see the places stuff happened to me. I did it during therapy. Courage is doing stuff you're afraid of.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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