[Mondayschild]

This seems to be a huge topic and something I struggle with as well. I have a few thoughts about the goodness/badness of this very common theme many of us experience.

For starters, there really isn't any goodness/badness about feeling it. Feelings are what they are.

Secondly, imagine that you had a million dollars and for whatever reason you gave it to someone for safekeeping. Likely you would think about that person all the time. We give our therapist everything, our shame, our secrets, the thoughts that we thought if we said out loud something inside of us would break into a million pieces. I believe that this attachment feeling is just a side effect of revealing those thoughts and feelings. The more we trust our T, the easier the feelings of attachment are to deal with and eventually become less intense over time. This could take months or years depending on where you are at individually with your therapy. There is no time table.

Lastly and this is a big one. Many of us didn't have healthy attachments as a child, the kind that allow us to grow into confident adults. We were let down by the people who were supposed to keep us safe and love us. Children are supposed to be dependent on their parents and our job as parents is to guide them and love them so they feel they can explore the world within those bounds of love. When they feel secure in that love, they start to become less dependent/attached to us.

Yes, it's hard to imagine that we are paying someone to essentially guide us as our parents should have but it is what it is and if that is what it takes to make us healthy adults, so be it. If our therapist is uncomfortable with the attachment, we need a new therapist.

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[Trace14]

Maybe just talk it out with your therapist. I've heard this is a pretty common occurrence and they are trained in dealing with it. A good therapist is so hard to find, and who wants to start all over with a new one? Not me. But if there are other problems other than this yes, maybe you do need to look for another one. Take care.