[ThunderGoddess]

I'm 28 years old and dyfs tried to take me away from my parents from the age of 11 to 15. They waged a four year war on my parents. They made my life hell and they changed the outcome of my life. I often wonder what my life would be like if they just left us alone. I'm terrified to ever have children of my own in fear of what happened to my parents will happen to me because it happened to my sister, my poor nephew was abused in foster care only to be given back to my sister! This isn't paranoia dyfs has it out for my family because my Father got a bunch of them fired for doing illegal stuff.
My home life wasn't perfect but it wasn't so bad that child services needed to get involved. They threatened my safety on a daily basis NOT my parents. I just need to vent.

[alieninshadows]

I think CFS is all about making money out of child snatching. I see it as a form of selling children.

[ThunderGoddess]

I agree they did not care about mine, my sister or my nephew's safety they only cared about taking us away. They lied during my parent's case and my sister's. children = $$$$$

[alieninshadows]

It's a wonder how they can continue on like that. I have a suspicion they sell kids to drug dealers and child exploiters because the services here put kids up in cheap, shady hotels with little supervision.

[Seraphine]

I'm so sorry they did that to you TG, and to your sisters family. I've long had suspicions suspicions about foster and adoptions being rigged, to goodness knows who. Hell they gave my brother and I to a NPD and ocd couple, whom really had no parental drive, no real bonding etc.
I hope can find some closure to that sometime soon, and can start a little family of your own. *hugs*

[ThunderGoddess]

Seraphine I'm sorry to hear that, I feel especially affected by cps stories I guess because it was a real fear in my life. I wish I could change the system.

I don't understand who gets money out of it or how that works but I know in the state of New Jersey things are really bad there with cps. Plus the fact that you can anonymous call them and report I think needs to be changed a lot of cases such as my own was a false report my Mother never abused us and they claimed she did drugs and drank in all of my 28 years of life I have never seen her pick up any substances other than a mountain dew! My parents had to spend mine and my sisters college fund to pay for lawyers like they really screwed up my life I was a shy but happy kid I had been abused as a very young child but not since I was at least 8 and it wasn't my mom! I know I probably shouldn't hold on to this hate but right now I can't help it.

[Spaceyspace]

I am too. An anonymous call led to a 3 year case for me and my child. They never took my son away just showed up monthly and chatted with us. Every month. For 3 years. Because I have a mental health diagnosis. I lived in fear that if I displeased a therapist, a psych doc, my worker appeared "noncompliance" in some way my son would be taken from me and given to God knows who and abused. I do not abuse my son. I've been too traumatized by my family to ever allow anything to happen to him. I'm an adult now and "the system" managed to abuse me. ugh. It makes me sick.

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by Spaceyspace

I am too. An anonymous call led to a 3 year case for me and my child. They never took my son away just showed up monthly and chatted with us. Every month. For 3 years. Because I have a mental health diagnosis. I lived in fear that if I displeased a therapist, a psych doc, my worker appeared "noncompliance" in some way my son would be taken from me and given to God knows who and abused. I do not abuse my son. I've been too traumatized by my family to ever allow anything to happen to him. I'm an adult now and "the system" managed to abuse me. ugh. It makes me sick.

It makes me sick too. No one should have to go through that, that's what they did to us, they also took my parents to court numerous times as well. I know how you feel because I will never forget the despair and sadness on my parents face during that time I wanted to take it away from them and make it all better and I wanted to fight dyfs to the death for my right to stay with my mom. I'm sorry you had to go through the cps abuse too! Thanks for sharing your story

[TerriLynn]

I am torn between hating the CPS system and thinking there must be some sort of system to help children. I was removed from my mother when I was 3 or 4 and remember being in some sort of group home type of thing briefly and I was scared and miserable. But it was probably better there than with my mother.

Then when My daughter was 6 years old, someone called and made a false accusation against me also. They said I was neglecting my daughter and doing drug around her. I had had a breakdown and was being treated for depression and anxiety, but I was on meds, I was improving and my daughter was certainly well cared for.

CPS went to her school and removed her from class and interrogated her about me and home. Then they called me AT WORK to tell me they had her! I was completely freaked out! They made an appointment with me to come interview me and inspect my house. I keep a pretty clean house, but had had a dog that I had been unable to house break so had gotten rid of him. Unfortunately there was still an odor in the carpet even after carpet cleaning. So, I had to explain that, but the lady inspected my house, she even looked in closets because the house was clean, all I had really done was vacuum before she got there, and asked me questions ( I guess checking closets to see if I had just brushed everything under beds and into closets). I explained to her that I was fine, she said I had a very nice house and it looked like this was a case of a false accusation and the person who did so could be prosecuted (but it rarely happens). She said the report would stay on file for one year then would fall off, so as long as they received no other complaints that there would be no further visits.

I was so paranoid for the next year. I stopped associating with any of the people who lived around me cause I didn't know who had done it, though I had my suspicions.

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by TerriLynn

I am torn between hating the CPS system and thinking there must be some sort of system to help children. I was removed from my mother when I was 3 or 4 and remember being in some sort of group home type of thing briefly and I was scared and miserable. But it was probably better there than with my mother.

Then when My daughter was 6 years old, someone called and made a false accusation against me also. They said I was neglecting my daughter and doing drug around her. I had had a breakdown and was being treated for depression and anxiety, but I was on meds, I was improving and my daughter was certainly well cared for.

CPS went to her school and removed her from class and interrogated her about me and home. Then they called me AT WORK to tell me they had her! I was completely freaked out! They made an appointment with me to come interview me and inspect my house. I keep a pretty clean house, but had had a dog that I had been unable to house break so had gotten rid of him. Unfortunately there was still an odor in the carpet even after carpet cleaning. So, I had to explain that, but the lady inspected my house, she even looked in closets because the house was clean, all I had really done was vacuum before she got there, and asked me questions ( I guess checking closets to see if I had just brushed everything under beds and into closets). I explained to her that I was fine, she said I had a very nice house and it looked like this was a case of a false accusation and the person who did so could be prosecuted (but it rarely happens). She said the report would stay on file for one year then would fall off, so as long as they received no other complaints that there would be no further visits.

I was so paranoid for the next year. I stopped associating with any of the people who lived around me cause I didn't know who had done it, though I had my suspicions.

I totally think they could be helpful I think children need advocates especially if they are in abusive situations but cps has taken it too far as most government systems do it isn't about the childs safety to most of them.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

I cant. I can't even begin....They stoke everything....I will never get them back...I wish I were dead. I just wanna go home.... there is no more home... I am not bad.

[ThunderGoddess]

Lost in the woods I am so sorry you are in a great deal of pain. I know there is nothing I can say to take it away. Just know that you are supported here.

[LordLeetas]

I agree with you, when my oldest son was 7 months old he was having an asthma attack so I took him to the ER and they did a chest x-ray and found that he had two broken ribs that were 2 weeks old and were healing and since my husband and I couldn't explain how they were broken the hospital called Child Protection Services and they took him from us at the hospital on suspicion of Shaken Baby Syndrome. He was in state custody for 4 long months only for the state doctors to find that his ribs were broken by an asthma attack he had, he struggled and coughed so hard during the attack he broke his ribs. I lost 4 months with my first child because of CPS incompetence. I was only able to visit with him in a Wendy's fast food restaurant every other Saturday for an hour.
i completely understand what you mean about CPS

[brownhare]

I had similar things happen to me as a young teen. I was abused by two male residential social workers when in a children's centre and prior to that was actually fostered with the family of a girl who had bullied me at school. That was 30 years ago but I am still very authority and institution triggered. I don't trust those who are under the umbrella of 'institution' readily or naturally any more. This created some really big hurdles for me in life the latest being actually allowing myself to walk into a therapists office and trust that it was a safe place to take my trauma and trust that this would not open me up to any exploitation.
What I have done over the years is get educated up to graduate level and take a post grad teaching qualification myself. I find that unscrupulous abusive people are a lot LESS likely to try to exploit or bully someone with a working education on adult and children's rights who is part of the system. I work as a teacher for kids with special educational needs now, this allows me to gain protection by the system as well as from the unsavoury parts within it. It has been hard to get to that place both mentally and emotionally but now I am in a position to make a difference on the inside. By using my safeguarding training to advocate for the students that I support in a small way I am turning my knowledge and experience of victimhood into a strength that I can use to help support other kids who are not getting what they need to thrive and survive through and beyond social and economic trauma.
Child Services are a lot less quick to hassle a teacher than they are a poor single parent living in social and economic poverty, this means I can stand up for kids whose parents have no voice. I can monitor the system as part of it for the students that I teach and I can support their voice and their perception of what is best for them.
I think that teaching and pastoral support and child services could do with more of 'US' on the inside. We might still be dealing with the trauma ourselves and sometimes the stuff we have to see and deal with can be emotionally triggering and hard, but ultimately turning trauma experiences into empathy and none judgemental support can and does make a difference for young people who feel alone in their experience of powerlessness.
Power is the thing isn't it? It is when some heartless, judgemental or messed up sociopath has the power to wreck or rescue your life. I don't know if we ever get over that experience, I know I am not over it, but I am committed to working my tail off to try to make sure it doesn't happen to any of the students who I am employed to care for.
I think this all comes down to being the change that I needed when I was 13 and not shrinking from authority but embracing my own in the face of cruelty and injustice.
I wish the world was full of counsellors and teachers and child service people who ALL had a background like ours and a heart to see it end. What a great difference could be made.

[brownhare]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

I cant. I can't even begin....They stoke everything....I will never get them back...I wish I were dead. I just wanna go home.... there is no more home... I am not bad.

You are not bad & you have found a little home here that can hold you safely whilst you hurt and process what has happened to you. Much love from the UK xx

[Loverofmysoul772]

That's how they are in every state! All they care about is making money! They rip children away from parents who may not be perfect, but they love them and want the best, and no one is perfect anyways. I have done research and the government will pay a state an enormous amount of money for every child they get adopted. I'm fighting them now and it's an uphill battle and I may never see my children again. They will do anything to make people look bad to the judge, including lying and changing details! I was in a domestic violence relationship and when I reported his abuse on me and my kids, they questioned him and he said I abused my kids too! Which is NOT true! I love my children. But they take allegations like that serious. They are lying to my children telling them their version of what happened, turning them on me! I have three children that they took from me, my youngest isn't even 3 months old! I wasn't allowed to take her home from the hospital with me. I'm being robbed. They don't care they just want money and they destroy families. I wasn't done having children, but I may be forced to be done because I cannot carry another child just to have another baby ripped away from me! Every parent needs to be really careful cuz they will use anything against you to get your children! Don't let them scare you away from having children if you want them, but be very cautious of your choices and who you allow in your life!

[SurferGurl]

I really feel the need to address the other side of the equation. As a former Child Protective Services Case Manager, I feel that what I did as a Case Manager was the furthest thing from trying to hurt, control, interrogate, or take children away from their parents for the fun of it.
I still spend sleepless nights worrying about the children and families I did everything I could to help. The very last thing I ever wanted to do was take a child away from their home and each time I had no choice but to do so, I felt horrible because I knew that the child or children were not going to understand and were terrified, traumatized, alone, and unable to control any of what was occurring.
I grieved for the children that were forced to face these types of traumas and I will never be able to forget their faces of terror that haunt me everyday.