CPTSD snowballs

No I haven't talked with her about it, I'm just trying to get through it. The fact that I came out of my house and stayed there is a major accomplishment for me. Though I doubt I will get much out of the class itself if I can't stay in the moment and listen to the material. I will get the handout when I go back downstairs, seems like it was several pages. Did you say you had been through the DBT group?

I've been through 5, the first two times I couldn't finish. I strongly encourage you to tell the facilitator what you're experiencing .

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Now you have my curiosity up. Can I ask if the two times you didn't finish were because of the material? Triggering? Don't go into detail. What would it change if I told her what I was feeling?

I was impatient and irritated with the rest of the students and the pace of the class.
If you told the facilitator what was challenging you she might accommodate you. Give it a try!

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I can understand being impatient. Really I can.
I don't think there's anything the facilitator can do other than take me out of the class. See the biggest problem is all these white cops being shot by black/AA people. I'm an ex white cop and the majority of the class is black/AA. They all have been very nice and I know realistically I'm probably safe but there's that little doubt that keeps me dissociating during the class. I've never felt uncomfortable with black/AA people. They have always been in my life.

I hear you, and that might be why you're in that class, to work through that issue. The therapist who encouraged me to do DBT wanted me to learn how to get along in a group, to be patient with people who's minds might not work as quickly as mine. I have some personal experiences with racism I could share with you privately if you are interested . Unfortunately these forums are public as pointed out to me recently by a troll on a chat so I'm trying to be more cautious these days.

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The T doesn't know how the cop killings are affecting me. We only meet every couple months at the VA. Next appointment is Aug 1st. That's the quickest you can get an appointment. Really sucks. When I had private insurance I was being seen once or twice a week. Sorry you had the racism experiences but no, no need to share. I hate racism and hate feeling this way.

Then I suggest you tell the T. I am fair skin and the racism I experience is from someone with a brown skin, in fact whenever I try to talk to this person about a problem they throw their race in my face and blame it for their problem .

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It's so stupid to judge someone by the skin color, or job. But judging is one thing, killing people for it is another. Are you saying you are a light skin AA? My best friend is and she so bullied by dark skin AA. Ridicules.

No I'm of European and a slight bit of Native American ancestry, the person in question is of creole and African American ancestry . When I say fair skin I mean white when I say brown skinned I mean black .

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Okay, thanks for clearing that up. Hard to tell sometimes from just words

What would be the pros and cons of talking to the facilitator about how I'm feeling? I mean she will probably say the feelings are unrealistic and work through it. I know that, so why share with her? She and I have only talked a couple of times in the past ....6 mos. so we really do not have that therapeutic relationship, ya know?

You don't know what she's going to say. You have to take a risk and find out. A good therapist will acknowledge that your feelings are real and try to help you find ways to cope.

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If it were easy to talk to her, or if I knew her better this may not be such an issue with me, ya know? I don't want to sound like a whiner, or wimp. I don't know, I'm just really on the fence about getting through this class and keep my mouth shut or talk to her and risk being pulled from the group.

Why would you get pulled

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Trace, anyone I have listened to that has done DBT has said that it took them time to slowly grasp it, yet, it proved to be very helpful.

It is perfectly understandable that the violence taking place towards police lately is VERY upsetting. Also, it isn't surprising that you have been harassed by an African American simply because you are white either. This is something that has been increasing to the point where individuals who are African American have been encouraged to "hate", resent, blame others who are white skinned, to feel that people who have white skin have it so much better when in reality lots of people with white skin have suffered abuse.

Truth is, African Americans have been encouraged to paint with a broad brush and NOW we are seeing how lethal that has become. It's not your imagination, it's become a problem and NOW our police officers have become TARGETS.

I sadly agree and don't see it getting any better any time soon. I have problems with such hate, and bullies. To the extent that it triggers me into dissociation. I hope the DBT classes sink in at some point.