[ThisWayOut]

We are in the process of looking for a new car... the whole experience is triggering on so many levels. The worst trigger is my really ****** credit. Going to a dealer and having to be faced with that time and again when trying to get a loan has the negative tapes running overtime. Having to explain to the dealership that "yes, I can work at times; no, I don't have a "real job"; yes, I'm on disability and that's most of my income" while I look fine doing the application is excruciating. I can hear their judgements loud and clear in my mind (the judgements I expect them to have)... and here I am begging for a loan so I can get to my appointments and p/t job...
My anxiety was already high walking in, but then they had these stupid noise makers every time someone got approved for a loan (though I think they were doing it to mess with people, coz there were only 3 customers and they set it off every 10 minutes). Ifelt myself starting to dissociate even before the test drive... then the sales guy got pissed when we said we needed to think about it. It's a 450/month commitment for the next 6 years. There's no way we were going to sign on the spot when we went in looking for a car that wouldn't cost more than about 200/month... I looked at my wife and commented that if they were going to send my dad there as a sales guy, they weren't going to make the sale ever, let alone for a car 10 steps above what we wanted, and more than twice as expensive... I think they heard it, because the manager (some other sales guy likely) came back and was super-sweet to us...
We ended up leaving anyway, but the dealership keeps calling. I really don't want to have to deal with them. Unfortunately, I've gotten my finances into such a mess, I feel trapped. They continued hounding is so similar to what my dad would do.
I was just talking with t about abuse dynamics on Monday, and how sometimes we set them up without meaning to. This is another situation that falls into that dynamic... if I still talked to my dad, and I was willing to pay his price, I'm sure I could get another car out of him, but I don't want to. So now I get to go and deal with a bunch of people who remind me of him...
I friend suggested using a broker to find us a car so we don't have to keep stessing about it. I'm beginning to think it is worth the extra few hundred to avoid being so triggered.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

We are in the process of looking for a new car... the whole experience is triggering on so many levels. The worst trigger is my really ****** credit. Going to a dealer and having to be faced with that time and again when trying to get a loan has the negative tapes running overtime. Having to explain to the dealership that "yes, I can work at times; no, I don't have a "real job"; yes, I'm on disability and that's most of my income" while I look fine doing the application is excruciating. I can hear their judgements loud and clear in my mind (the judgements I expect them to have)... and here I am begging for a loan so I can get to my appointments and p/t job...
My anxiety was already high walking in, but then they had these stupid noise makers every time someone got approved for a loan (though I think they were doing it to mess with people, coz there were only 3 customers and they set it off every 10 minutes). Ifelt myself starting to dissociate even before the test drive... then the sales guy got pissed when we said we needed to think about it. It's a 450/month commitment for the next 6 years. There's no way we were going to sign on the spot when we went in looking for a car that wouldn't cost more than about 200/month... I looked at my wife and commented that if they were going to send my dad there as a sales guy, they weren't going to make the sale ever, let alone for a car 10 steps above what we wanted, and more than twice as expensive... I think they heard it, because the manager (some other sales guy likely) came back and was super-sweet to us...
We ended up leaving anyway, but the dealership keeps calling. I really don't want to have to deal with them. Unfortunately, I've gotten my finances into such a mess, I feel trapped. They continued hounding is so similar to what my dad would do.
I was just talking with t about abuse dynamics on Monday, and how sometimes we set them up without meaning to. This is another situation that falls into that dynamic... if I still talked to my dad, and I was willing to pay his price, I'm sure I could get another car out of him, but I don't want to. So now I get to go and deal with a bunch of people who remind me of him...
I friend suggested using a broker to find us a car so we don't have to keep stessing about it. I'm beginning to think it is worth the extra few hundred to avoid being so triggered.

I hate dealing with people, especially ones I don't know. I'm always suspicious of everything they say and do. Not to mention the anxiety of being away from my safe place (Home). Do you have a CarMax where you live? They are no haggle place and seem to do very good business.

[Unrigged64072835]

Buying a car in a dealership can be a whirlwind. Nothing like getting jerked place to place. I didn't have a problem with my disability income, so that was helpful. We ended up buying a used vehicle and it worked well for us so far. CarMax is good too.

[ThisWayOut]

We are looking into carmax, but I'm not sure they will want to give me anything due to my credit... I went in looking for a car in the 10k range, and the guy showed is a 20k car, fully loaded with all the fancy stuff... :/ then they said that the bank only agreed to lend us money for that one car, none of the other 300+on their lot... ugh. I think that dealership is a scam, but they are also one of the only ones willing to work with us.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

We are looking into carmax, but I'm not sure they will want to give me anything due to my credit... I went in looking for a car in the 10k range, and the guy showed is a 20k car, fully loaded with all the fancy stuff... :/ then they said that the bank only agreed to lend us money for that one car, none of the other 300+on their lot... ugh. I think that dealership is a scam, but they are also one of the only ones willing to work with us.

Keep looking, you will find what will work for you. I would rather buy from a dealership because they have checked the car out and usually fix any problems. Buying from an individual is a crap shoot, you never know what kind of problems you are buying and will be stuck with.

[Open Eyes]

When you go to car dealerships keep in mind that the sales staff is there to make as much for "themselves" as they can and will talk you into something more expensive because they make more commission. Also, with the economy the way it is, I am sure these salesmen hear all kinds of challenges so don't allow yourself to consider "their" opinions about how you have to finance a vehicle and what you can afford and what you can't afford.