[eyesclosed]

I don't get this but after never having a good relationship. It starts with a feeling of doom, then my breathing gets erratic like hyperventilating then the past come in and i'm not really crying but just have awful emotional pain and in the end all this together I cry

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

I don't get this but after never having a good relationship. It starts with a feeling of doom, then my breathing gets erratic like hyperventilating then the past come in and i'm not really crying but just have awful emotional pain and in the end all this together I cry

Sounds like a panic attack and maybe depression, are you seeing a counselor?

[eyesclosed]

Oh yeah for years

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

Oh yeah for years

Are you on any medications for the anxiety/panic attacks? And you are seeing a counselor now?

[eyesclosed]

Oh yes I have too in order to get my medications Paxil40mg prozac20mg xnax2 mg mixed amphetamine salt combo 60mg all this and i can't function

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

Oh yes I have too in order to get my medications Paxil40mg prozac20mg xnax2 mg mixed amphetamine salt combo 60mg all this and i can't function

Well good, even though I despise taking medications I've found that without them life is a lot harder. And if I'm going to fight this I need to have the energy to do so. Sounds like you are on the right path, be patient with yourself.

[Parva]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

I don't get this but after never having a good relationship. It starts with a feeling of doom, then my breathing gets erratic like hyperventilating then the past come in and i'm not really crying but just have awful emotional pain and in the end all this together I cry

Yeah, it sounds like an emotional flashback. Like all the emotions from traumatized childhood are present; fear, terror, etc...but you still experience the world as it is. Having a foot in the past and a foot in the present. You should really bring this up with your T. I suffer from this regularly and it's f-ing awful.

Not tons in the literature, but a good place to start, I think, is Bessel van der Kolk.