[Trace14]

Anyone else just want to sleep through the holidays?

[PumpkinPieHead]

Yup. I made myself get up at noon.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by PumpkinPieHead

Yup. I made myself get up at noon.

Me too, just didn't want to get up and face the day.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Anyone else just want to sleep through the holidays?

One holiday down 2 more to go.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by leomama

One holiday down 2 more to go.

Exactly, they can't be over fast enough.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Exactly, they can't be over fast enough.

Had a good thanksgiving at church. There's a church service for each holiday. I joined a religion in my early 20s and although it's been a hard road , I don't regret it. I needed a new family very early on.

[Open Eyes]

Yes, me too. The hard thing about this challenge is that with PTSD there is such a deep subconscious desire to avoid any reminders. Actually, all human beings do that on some level subconsciously, but when it comes to experiencing a "trauma" it's magnified. It's natures way of assuring "survival" so that when human beings and even other mammels experience something that is a major threat that it's imprinted so we experience the fight, flight and freeze.

When so many of my ponies/horses were targeted by my neighbor's dog, they were all hurt, some really bad and ever since they ALL became extremely sensitive to anything coming from my neighbors, they also reacted and stressed even if they saw my neighbor's dog and I had to change them around because they did not feel safe in their paddocks and because it mostly happened at night, as soon as it got dark they stressed and I had to put them all in at night which is something I did not do unless the weather was bad out.

So, it isn't just human beings that are affected by trauma, it's mammels as a whole. Human beings are just more complex in that we think about social situations and judgements and we tend to think that if we don't have the ability to fit into something that is part of a social structure of how we should fit in, then even that can lead to a deep feelings that, even if we don't have the same exact challenges, we can all relate to the symptoms we share in common.

[Unrigged64072835]

I wish I could. Lots of body memories from past abuse this time of year.

[MtnTime2896]

I want to disappear right now. I'll leave it at that 'cause I'll just go on a rant. I'm pretty **** ed off right now.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I want to disappear right now. I'll leave it at that 'cause I'll just go on a rant. I'm pretty **** ed off right now.

Feeling any better now?

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Feeling any better now?

Better but I'm now dealing with the aftermath of everything. Some things that were said makes it difficult to offer forgiveness. I'm just trying to let it go, right now through this site and writing. Just channel it into music like I've done before.

I'm just trying to understand why I keep going back and I why I even love some of these people, or maybe just the idea of loving them. I'm just upset with myself for letting them get under my skin.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

Better but I'm now dealing with the aftermath of everything. Some things that were said makes it difficult to offer forgiveness. I'm just trying to let it go, right now through this site and writing. Just channel it into music like I've done before.

I'm just trying to understand why I keep going back and I why I even love some of these people, or maybe just the idea of loving them. I'm just upset with myself for letting them get under my skin.

I think it's just part of our CPTSD. I've found that the least little hurtful things, that wouldn't usually bother me that bad, can be magnified in my head to "Alert, Alert Will Rogers!" I get defensive and the anger and hate will focus on that person. What I'm saying is that people will say and do things that are really not that big of a deal, but I perceive them as major things and it wears me down. I need to learn how to say to myself that ..so and so is an idiot and don't waste my time and energy on them. Let karma take care of them.
We all have our ways of dealing with these things, writing and music are two good ones. Feel better, and don't let these people steal your time and occupy your mind.

[Open Eyes]

. I'm just upset with myself for letting them get under my skin.

So leigheas, just so you know this is one of the challenges that people who struggle with PTSD/CPTSD have. It's that constant question of "why am I letting this bother me?" but the reality is that it's not that simple in that you are making a decision to be upset instead these emotional challenges just come over a person who is struggling and that can lead to feeling angry at "self" yet also getting angry when someone else says, "just don't let it bother you or don't allow it to bother you".