[SoupDragon]

I've just been thinking about the difference between sheep who are brought up in a flock, with limited human contact and lambs that are bottle raised.

The ones in the flock don't trust, but those who have had nurturing human contact early in life, do.

Maybe there are critical stages for development, and if that nurturing is not experienced early on, there is no way to develop that trust later on in life.

Not sure if this makes sense, think I'm in rambling mode.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I've just been thinking about the difference between sheep who are brought up in a flock, with limited human contact and lambs that are bottle raised.

The ones in the flock don't trust, but those who have had nurturing human contact early in life, do.

Maybe there are critical stages for development, and if that nurturing is not experienced early on, there is no way to develop that trust later on in life.

Not sure if this makes sense, think I'm in rambling mode.

Yes that's true. There are different stages of growth that you go through where nurturing is very important. But I think you need to stick with comparing like mammals, like kids in a big family, or sheep in a heard being afraid of other sheep .

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Yes that's true. There are different stages of growth that you go through where nurturing is very important. But I think you need to stick with comparing like mammals, like kids in a big family, or sheep in a heard being afraid of other sheep .

Yes, maybe my analogy went a bit of target there .

I know I have the capacity to trust, I have a good solid relationship with my children, whom I trust and feel totally comfortable with. Also although I miss them when they are not with me, I am really happy for them when they get invited to friends for sleep-overs and don't feel any overwhelming negative feelings when they are not with me.

Just wish that would spill over into adult relationships.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yes, maybe my analogy went a bit of target there .

I know I have the capacity to trust, I have a good solid relationship with my children, whom I trust and feel totally comfortable with. Also although I miss them when they are not with me, I am really happy for them when they get invited to friends for sleep-overs and don't feel any overwhelming negative feelings when they are not with me.

Just wish that would spill over into adult relationships.

I agree but it's easier to trust and love the innocence of children and animals. They have not broken our trust, though kids in teenage years????? So the trust issues are a valid concern, we just have to find a way to trust enough for our benefit and not trust enough to protect us. Hard thing to balance for us. Especially with our all or none thinking, I'm very guilty of that. But I'm working on it.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Trace14

we just have to find a way to trust enough for our benefit and not trust enough to protect us.

This is interesting, not something I have considered before. Thank-you.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

This is interesting, not something I have considered before. Thank-you.

I wish I had that type of control to do that. It's pretty much all or nothing with me, but at least it's a goal to work toward

[SoupDragon]

Yes, it is. I think generally I have no idea where I am in my life, or where to head for, what to aim for, expectations of myself etc...

I am beginning to have a degree of acceptance, that I need to take care of myself, but my strategy at the moment is just to avoid everything, which doesn't lead to much enjoyment.

I think the trust thing is important, I can relate to the all or nothing. But maybe it is also about taking a few "risks", trying things out while reminding myself, I will be ok and it won't always lead to disaster.

I think I rely too heavily on others in making me feel ok. I had a tough week with anxiety this week, which miraculously disappeared when I had some positive feedback at work from someone. I need to find a way of doing this for myself.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yes, it is. I think generally I have no idea where I am in my life, or where to head for, what to aim for, expectations of myself etc...

I am beginning to have a degree of acceptance, that I need to take care of myself, but my strategy at the moment is just to avoid everything, which doesn't lead to much enjoyment.

I think the trust thing is important, I can relate to the all or nothing. But maybe it is also about taking a few "risks", trying things out while reminding myself, I will be ok and it won't always lead to disaster.

I think I rely too heavily on others in making me feel ok. I had a tough week with anxiety this week, which miraculously disappeared when I had some positive feedback at work from someone. I need to find a way of doing this for myself.

Absolutely!!!! Great job!