Where is everyone, why so quiet?

I've been thinking about this and I do see your point, and it is a good one. I really wasn't going to approach in a confrontational way, I just wanted to ask her about it and ask her to fill me in on what is going on. But, I do think that no matter what I say, or how I say it, she is going to see it as confrontational. I am concerned because this med combo is very volatile and unique, each med acts on one (or both) of the others and the impacts of not following drs orders on this could be fatal. She is due to see her Pdoc this month sometime and if he does bloodwork he should see something in the results to indicate something is off. So, if I don't talk to her about it, my next quandary is do I tell him? On the one hand, I think it is info he needs to know, on the other hand, is it really my business. In the end, I just want my daughter to survive and be happy.

I'm really not having too much of a problem with the empty nest part of it. She will be 19 next week. I want her to be out on her own and living life. I just need to figure out where I'm at now. My whole life has revolved around her since the day she was born and now I need to find other things to concentrate on. I having a difficult time doing that.

Well I tried, not sure how well it worked out though. I mean she is a great girl, she's awesome and beautiful, but she doesn't see that. I agree that being there to catch her when she falters or falls is not the best thing to do, but at the same time, for her, in the past that has led to her .

I don't know the answer yet. I do think that as long as she is with her boyfriend she will be ok. I just worry that she is basing all her happiness on him, not herself and if the relationship ends, or something happened to him, I'm not sure she would handle it well.

But what you are explaining are good life lessons. He may hurt her, she may be heartbroken, then jump in. Just give her a chance to make some mistakes and know it's okay and that you will be there , for now, to help her through that. I don't have kids so I'm certainly no authority on this.
The cleaning out her room is what got me and how sad that would be. Like you said she has been your whole life and world and now she has become a young woman and moved out. Do try to focus on you now, it's time. Better enjoy it. One day there will probably be grand kids keeping you busy

About the meds. If they are a month old, chances are she survived without them and she's fine, right? Taking them to the doctor again may not be the best choice right now, just think about it. There's some habits that you are going to have to really think about now since the dynamics have changed. You're a good mom and I know this is hard.

My husband and I suspect that these are from a couple different failed attempts to go off her meds or from trying to wean herself off of them. As of right now, her PDoc knows that I have control of her meds and he has expressed concern to me that she might do something like this, and has an expectation that I will let him know if I think something is off.. Really, the bottom line is, the blood work should show her levels to be off if she is still trying to drop them. If she really wants to be off of them, I support that, but she really needs to do it under medical supervision.

She was up earlier and seemed to be doing really good today. I didn't bring it up to her. When I set up her next appointment with her PDoc, if he doesn't suggest bloodwork, I'm going to.

Good job! I know that makes you happy to see her so happy Hope that continues for the rest of her life Yes, she does need to be careful weaning off the drugs. I'm still trying to get off the Fentynal and oh it's a bear, even though my levels are low the withdrawals still are unbearable. I've gone off my meds also, then picked up another one for RLS . I hate taking them.

The 2 major concerns I have are her Tegratol levels. I've read that stopping too quickly could trigger siezures and 2, the tegratol impacts the desipramine. So, although her last blood work showed her desipramine being in the middle of the recommended range, as the tegratol levels decrease, the desirparmine levels could increase. In a situation like that, siezures are the least of my worries.

But she seems so happy and healthy. Would something show outward, especially with the latter? You found these meds and she's been gone a month and looks very happy and healthy. Maybe she's taking her meds now with her boyfriend. You think that might be possible? You have talked to the boyfriend about her meds and how important it is to take them, right? She happy going back to school. Maybe she's okay, ya know?

She does seem to be doing good. It's hard to say. If she really is trying to taper off slowly, it just might work and everything could be fine. However, it could take time for the blood levels to get to where bad things could start happening with a slow taper. She is also very good at hiding what she's doing.

I did talk very briefly to her boyfriend when they were moving into the apartment. I asked him to make sure she remembered her meds, that if she started missing them a lot a seizure could be triggered. Also that someday she might be able to come off the meds, but now wasn't the time (her Dr's words at their last session) and she needed to do it with the help of her dr.

Do you know for sure she is tapering off?

No, I don't, but it wouldn't surprise me if she was.

Oh okay. Then let's just be happy that she has all appearances of being happy and healthy. Cross the problem roads when they are present, I know that's hard. I'm working on my doing that and it is hard to realize my thoughts are based on feelings instead of facts. Because I have found a lot of my thoughts are just that, feelings....not facts. Hey I guess CPT is doing some good

My biggest concerns about her tapering off on her own, if that's what she's doing is: 1. Heart issues from high Desipramine levels, 2. Seizures from low Tegratol levels 3. Not knowing what Nefazadone will do to that mix. 4. Return of hypomania and or depression. 4. Another attempt.

Unfortunately, I cannot get these out of my mind. I guess time will tell.

Thanks for spending time with me discussing this though. It has helped a lot.

You are very welcome. When you spend a lifetime taking care of someone and devoting your life to them that doesn't stop when they become adults and leave the nest. Give yourself sometime with this , but in the meantime don't worry yourself sick over it. There's no reason to believe she's not taking her meds, right? She seems happy and healthy and her boyfriend is aware of what will happen if she gets off the meds, right? So you have put an extra set of eyes on her , and when you see her, I'm sure you are looking for any sign that something is not right. But so far everything is okay. Trust that. Sounds like she is doing wonderful, should have moved this dude closer sooner She needs this lesson of responsibility, and she may be staying on track just to prove you wrong about being able to manage her meds on her own and that's a wonderful thing. Throw the rabbit in the brier patch
Give it a little more time and maybe the two of you can talk about how proud you are of her for managing her meds. How you knew she could do it and what a wonderful, responsible young woman she has become. Because she is doing very well so far and I truly hope this continues for both of you.