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Old Dec 02, 2017, 08:42 PM
MtnTime2896's Avatar
MtnTime2896 MtnTime2896 is offline
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A certain band comes on and a certain setlist of songs, and it sets me off.

It's very tied to abuse I suffered as a child. Once that music played, I knew that violence would soon follow.

I love this music because I relate to it. I listen to it on purpose, sometimes. It forces me to remember and forces me into this hypervigilance/ready for a fight state. It does it in a way that does have therapeutic value.

Unfortunately, it also sets me off on a very angry and argumentative mindset. It's easier to be angry for me, though. I'd rather be angry than scared or so lost in despair I can only see that one certain way out.

I need the anger. I need the trigger. I need the trauma. I need to hurt.

Anyone else understand this?
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Last edited by MtnTime2896; Dec 02, 2017 at 08:56 PM.
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  #2  
Old Dec 03, 2017, 02:57 PM
RubyRae RubyRae is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2017
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I unfortunately understand.

I have a playlist of songs from my childhood that I listen to at times.They instantly make me think of the specific traumas they are tied to.
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