[MtnTime2896]

I hate knowing. Knowing that (according to professionals) literally all of my psychiatric issues are caused by trauma. I never thought that anything I went through was worth dwelling over. I couldn't express how I felt in the environment I was raised in. I couldn't express it, so instead I compartmentalized everthing. I put stuff in boxes that I shoved in the basement and chained the door to it shut. I had to "toughen up" because apparently I was too "sensitive".

Possible trigger:

Apparently getting the **** kicked out of you and hiding away to cry afterwards is a little too sensitive.

It's the cause behind my depression, my anxiety, my delusions, my hallucinations, my obsessions. EVERYTHING! How do I take that? How do I deal with the fact that people I love are the cause behind my breakdowns? How's this right? How's it right for anyone to go through this ****? What kind of deity would allow these things to happen to anyone? What kind of world do we live in where this is almost normal?

[cptsdwhoa]

I'm so sorry. I'm dealing with a similar situation. Learning that my family...the people who raised me, who are supposed to love me, have done me so wrong. That ours is a dysfunctional family with a history of abuse. Trauma in childhood until now is the cause of my Cptsd and all of the things I thought were "wrong" with me.

I'm learning to deal with it everyday, and I will tell you that I would not be alive if not for God. From the moment He got me out of that psych ward after an attempt on my life, to the prolonged emotional flashback when I was hurt again by family sending me into another years long depressive episode, to now where I'm finally realizing that I'm free (thanks to God) and I have to get my distance from them. He's there and He cares about things concerning me. I believe He cares about you too.

I know that may sound corny, but I whole-heartedly believe that. I do not promise to have all of the answers. I'm only human and only me. But please feel free to pm me anytime if you need someone to talk to, or just need someone to listen.

[Fuzzybear]