Regrets

cptsdwhoa · Sep 12, 2018, 07:39 AM

Does anyone ever regret that they started their journey of recovery. I'm doing much better now, but I certainly did at first. I'm just starting on my journey as finally know I have Cptsd. At first I felt ready. Then the work began, and I'm a little overwhelmed.

Does it get easier at all? After some work and time?

MtnTime2896 · Sep 12, 2018, 08:41 AM

I can honestly say that I regret it at the moment. There's a lot more wrong than I initially thought and I'm having to actually deal with pain rather than push it away. I have been on this journey for a while, though. There are times when I'm so thankful that I'm working through this and able to. It just depends on what's going on with me, I guess. There are times when it's easier and times when you don't think you can keep going. I just quote Churchill when I get like this, "If you're going through hell, keep going." You can PM me if you need someone to talk to.

Sep 12, 2018, 08:48 AM

I hate having to face my parents abuse- and those memories and those issues (for me, a big part of recovery), and to be honest, it is still such a trigger for me I wonder if I ever will.... fully, even if I want to

I mean who doesn't want to recover from abuse? (that's not what I'm saying)

I'm saying I have 4 mental health diagnoses and chronic pain and no goals/ qualifications/ support

the future's hardly brite

Sep 12, 2018, 11:33 AM

To all thinking it's futile, it's not. My psychiatrist gives me a different kind of therapy (and I am not supposed to know this), to calm my mind and guide me through my ocean of problems. It really, really made an impact on me and my personality, how I view the world and even who I want to be. It's totally worth it. I am still somewhat broken, and there are things about me that cannot be fixed, but I am no longer hearing voices or have unconventional beliefs. My anxiety's being managed too.

cptsdwhoa · Sep 12, 2018, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I hate having to face my parents abuse- and those memories and those issues (for me, a big part of recovery), and to be honest, it is still such a trigger for me I wonder if I ever will.... fully, even if I want to

I mean who doesn't want to recover from abuse? (that's not what I'm saying)

I'm saying I have 4 mental health diagnoses and chronic pain and no goals/ qualifications/ support

the future's hardly brite

I hear ya raging vortex. Half of my battle (and one of my therapy goals) is just acknowledging that there was abuse in the first place. I still dissociate when I have to think back on what happened! I'm one of those people in denial about what happened.

I'm worried that I've blocked something out from anytime before age 9. At age 9 is when I vivdly remember the depressive symptoms starting to appear and when the issues started.

Hmm, I know that feeling. Do you think that your chronic pain could be muscle armoring or physiological effects of trauma? I realize now that my chronic neck and shoulder pain is muscle armoring. I've been dealing with it since I was about eleven.

cptsdwhoa · Sep 12, 2018, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

To all thinking it's futile, it's not. My psychiatrist gives me a different kind of therapy (and I am not supposed to know this), to calm my mind and guide me through my ocean of problems. It really, really made an impact on me and my personality, how I view the world and even who I want to be. It's totally worth it. I am still somewhat broken, and there are things about me that cannot be fixed, but I am no longer hearing voices or have unconventional beliefs. My anxiety's being managed too.

Thank you Chemist. I appreciate this, and I'm glad that you are doing so well! The book I'm reading through with my therapist for Cptsd has steps for emotional flashback management. I haven't been able to use them yet. I'm still a little scared too. I can understand in my head that using the steps will help, and help is much better than wallowing in flashbacks. It's just doing it that's the problem.