RE: COMPLEX PTSD & LOSING ONES SYSTEMS OF MEANING

What it means to lose your systems of meaning ...

1. You don't trust anyone or anything - including yourself.

2. You don't believe in anyone or anything - including yourself.

3. Hope & Faith are something that got lost and/or tossed along the way.

You want these things, but the brutality of all the previous betrayals by your abusers have you hiding like a whipped puppy underneath the porch.

You want to come out and play.

To experience what it is like to be touched, held and loved in a nurturing way ...

But, you're just too damned scared to allow yourself the risk of another betrayal by another human being at the expense of your mind, body and soul.

*************

I had previously posted this here at PC (a couple of years ago) before I left and came back ... I wanted to revive (revisit) it because I'm still struggling mightily with it and often feel so thoroughly defeated by it ... It's been like this my whole life - even before I know that there was a name for what's been ailing me ... Not sure if I'll ever be able to overcome it or not and that makes me feel extremely empty, sad, bereft and lonely.

[Skeezyks]

I have sometimes quipped that, when they wrote that line in the Bible about oh ye of little faith, they had me in mind. I don't know if I could be diagnosed as having cPTSD since I've never been offered a proper diagnosis of anything (too old to make it worth worrying about I suppose.) But I can sure relate to numbers 1, 2, & 3 on your list. In my case, though, I don't really even want any of it anymore. To my mind it's all just a chimera. I just want to be left alone. Still... the way I live isn't something I would recommend to anyone else. So I hope you find the strength to overcome...

[seeker33]

Thank you so much for posting this, pfrog

I've got nothing to say except for: "Have you read my mind since you describe my thoughts so accurately?"
I hope this thread gets more responses. I will certainly read them. Me...I'm too exhausted to even begin writing about this topic.

[Fuzzybear]

Pfrog

Originally Posted by seeker33

I love nature, simplicity and minimalism (quoted from your signature line) ...

Me Too!

[Open Eyes]

Here is a good video to watch about complex ptsd

and the second part is:

Thanks for the links, but my parents and siblings used god and religion to justify their abuses of me, so with that also being a contributing factor to me developing Complex PTSD, I was unable to continue watching them as I found them to be too triggering ... Nevertheless, it is possible that they may be helpful for those that have not experienced long term religious or cult type abuses.

[Open Eyes]

I did notice that these videos are on some Christian site, but the information was actually very good. I was not able to sit and watch the entire talk but from what I did see the woman wasn't really applying religion. I understand how that can be a trigger if you grew up in a family that turned to religion abusively or to encourage shame and control.

Actually, there has been more awareness of this challenge and if we are to expect someone to develop a healthy religious and spiritual connection, it's good to understand those who struggle due to their history of trauma and how to help them and support them within a religious community. Yes, religion has been used in unhealthy ways like many other aspects within humanity Pfrog.