I talked to my therapist last week, and while it's not even in the DSM V (it should be), it seems to fit me. At least, the things I went through, and its effects. It was empowering to admit in her office. But now I feel a lot of anger. I feel anger in my current life too, with the way people have been treating me. I'm not sure how to make that stop.

[Skeezyks]

May I suggest simply sitting with that anger, breathing into it, feeling its power, perhaps even smiling to it, & allowing it to arise-&-fade as it will? You might even place a hand over your heart as a sign of compassion & lovingkindness for what you are experiencing. You could, in addition, realize that the anger you are feeling has been felt in one way or another by every human being who is alive today, who has ever lived, or likely will ever live. It is a part of our common heritage as human beings.

Not a bad idea Skeezyks.

[seeker33]

Welcome to the community!
When I felt great anger, I threw socks on the wall and I wrote very angry letters which I never sent but I tore them to tiny pieces and it felt AMAZING!

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome KnitChick

Originally Posted by seeker33

Welcome to the community!
When I felt great anger, I threw socks on the wall and I wrote very angry letters which I never sent but I tore them to tiny pieces and it felt AMAZING!

Oh my gosh I love these ideas. Thanks seeker! The socks and yes, writing letters and NOT sending them. Sure beats sending them and then feeling regret.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Welcome KnitChick

Thank you Fuzzy.

I feel guilty because I acted out recently. I said mean things on PC because I was hurt by someone's actions and words. I hope no one here thinks I'm a jerk. I am learning from my mistakes and doing the best I can. I also vented on facebook recently. Being openly reactive isn't something that happens often anymore, but it does happen. I'm definitely not perfect. I was in a very vulnerable place. DBT helps though. I am learning. I am doing my best, and then when I know better I do better.

[seeker33]

I haven't seen the post you're taking about. However I generally like and appreciate your posts here. Everyone loses their temper sometimes. Me too. It's natural. What matters is that we learn from it and you seem to be doing that :-)

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by KnitChick

I feel guilty because I acted out recently. I said mean things on PC because I was hurt by someone's actions and words. I hope no one here thinks I'm a jerk. I am learning from my mistakes and doing the best I can. I also vented on facebook recently. Being openly reactive isn't something that happens often anymore, but it does happen. I'm definitely not perfect. I was in a very vulnerable place. DBT helps though. I am learning. I am doing my best, and then when I know better I do better.

Good post. I appreciate your posts .. nobody is perfect

[mountainstream]

Thank you for this thread.

Three things that have helped me with my anger are ...

1. Going to the batting cages and pretending the balls are the faces of my abusers ... Whack!, Take That!

2. Going to the golf driving range and pretending the balls are the faces of my abusers ... Whack!, Take That!

3. Placing those blow up punching clowns around my living space and pretending they are my abusers ... Whack!, Take That!

I'm sorry that you are having to experience this too ...

Try to be extra patient, gentle and kind with yourself ... Especially when you have a meltdown and act out.

I've been working on my healing and recovery for 25 years now and can still be triggered and act out in ways that are not very becoming.

There's a reason we do that and it's not something people with C-PTSD can help!

But, the good news is that after working on it for all this time it doesn't happen near as much as it used to.

Not sure if it will ever completely go away, but it's nice to know it is a lot better than it used to be.

Remember ... Patient, Gentle & Kind ... Repeat it like a mantra if you need to!

We deserve a little self-empathy and compassion for ourselves, especially after all we've been through that led up to us developing Complex PTSD!

Thank you so much for the support Pfrog, Fuzzy, Seeker, and Mountainstream.