Extremely Jumpy

Knock on the door, I jump and I feel like I'm going to come out of my skin. Dishes breaking and I jump. Someone coming up behind and taps me on the should and I scream. Every little thing, I seem to be jumpy. I've been noticing this a lot lately and it makes me feel so anxious and scared. Sounds outside even has made me jump and once I broke down crying. I opened up the bathroom door once, which my brother forgot to lock it and I gasp and jumped, "I'm sorry!"

I ended up walking away feeling ashamed and confused by this. Nothing has happened with my family, nor did they abuse me. I'm jumpy after getting out of an domestic violence relationship and still after 3 years, I'm still jumpy and fearful. Often I have to meditate just so I can relax a bit, because each time I'm jumpy and fearful, my muscles tighten up. This part of Complex PTSD is stressful and exhausting. All through my life I've had this childhood from something else happening to me, but after being free from my ex boyfriend, things has started up again.

I hope one day things will get better because I'm so exhausted to feeling like this everyday. Please give me comfort. I need it at this time. Even if you don't know what to say, "hugs are okay."

How long were you in that relationship?

Oh yeah, that oh so lovely (not!) "startle response"! I know it well. Sounds like you are in a constant state of anxiety...and oh my yes but that is exhausting! Keep that hope for a better day alive. It can come. I am still jumpy on some sounds / tones etc., but not as much as I used to be. Time and therapy helps. Also quick little mantras I use....like....."this isn't that" "This" being, what made me jump THIS time, "that" being the origin of the problem. Make sense? "I'm safe, I'm OK" works well for me too. Anything, really, to help me break my emotional response from the past, and return me to the present.

Therapy would help you get to the caused & process what happened in the past. Better than continually suffering & getting worse.

I was with my ex for six years, I tried to get many times but he threatened me many times. My fear is what kept me with him, what many people can't seem to understand. My anxiety was heightened due to things he did and said to me, I became afraid of him. Finally got out of the relationship because he cheated on me and I knew about it, because I found loved letters on his desk which I think he wanted me to find. He ended up ghosting me and disappearing on me so I couldn't confront him and asked him questions and want to know further. I'm in therapy right now, and I'm working through the pain that I went through. Know it's going to take a lot of time though, before I heal from everything.

I honestly believe that there are indeed some things that others who haven't experienced, just can't quite understand. That's why I love Psych Central. When I can't talk to anyone else, there's always this place, and someone who does understand. Give yourself permission to feel exhausted. Give yourself the time and space to heal. Yay, you, for seeking out help - both therapy, and joining Psych Central. You're moving forward, and that's what's important!

I’m sending hugs