Feeling Disappointed in myself

It's hard to go into detail at this point.

Walked out of the hospital today with a muscle relaxant just after getting assaulted. I feel like I caused it. Like something in my nature caused it. At the same time I realize that I can't control other people's reactions. People are simply assholes and they will do as they please.

The person who assaulted me labelled me a threat and falsely accused me of breaking and entering on her property and other falsities, I think literally to try and intimidate me. Her whole intention was to escalate a problem.

The police did nothing.

I have probably a mild concussion and soft tissue injuries in my back. I am missing a day of work. My sleep schedule is screwed.

I feel kind of abandoned.

My sense of hyperarousal is out of whack more than it already was before. I couldn't sleep because I feared my assailant would get in my apartment and try to attack me, or set fire to our building.

I literally catapulted out of bed at the sound of my neighbour at his door. This is while on muscle relaxants.

I'm disappointed in myself for not handling the situation better. Yet I feel like the police don't understand that I can't handle the situation as well as they can because the assailant doesn't view me as a threat, or as an authority. Even me not trying to defend myself or assault the person back still got me assaulted.

Feel like I am to blame for this one.