cptsdvictim's journal

Iiinnn theee traaaiinn. Oh, yeah! Mhm! On my way to the North of the country. Let's goo! There's a lady in the same carriage as me. She's so proactive and kind, helping everyone. She's awesome.

First thing I'll do when I arrive is eat. It'll be another gluten rich food, unfortunately. Past few days I've been eating only gluten rich foods which is not good.
Then, I'll explore a museum. Then the weather hopefully improves (according to forecast; albeit, never to be trusted - so I dressed up 3W, as always). I'll take the city on foot until dinner time. After which I'll relax a bit and then head for the train back to the shelter. I had quite a few of extra, unexpected, expenses so I decided not to save but retain the extra money for the vacation. I'm sure I'm going to spend more.

Relaxing. In the museum's lounge. Today was so and so. I ate lunch at an Afro-Caribbean restaurant. The food was meh. Not too bad, but not great either. Left tip as the hostess was nice. Also liked the server. Went for coffee afterwards at what turned out to be a place frequented by people of old age. When I thought I finally got a free table to sit in quiet and drink my coffee: nope. Old people came and f****g sat at my table without even asking if I'm ok with it. Logged it into my journal and left. The old lady asked me surprised: "you're going?". Didn't say anything. I would've made her to pieces and it wouldn't have helped. People who would be self aware and aware of good manners would've asked if they could have shared the table. So it would've went into a deep hole if I responded in the moment. I went and bought a chocolate cookie at another coffee shop as that one didn't have any sweets my taste. Visited the museum. Interesting space. I liked the lightning. Plenty of open space too. And the wooden walls combined with perpendicular white walls makes for a pleasant, calming, earthy scenery. The piano music in the lounge is also great for relaxing. The pieces were interesting. Most of all, though, I found an installation dedicated to homeless people. The author passed by a dead homeless person in a park and was marked by the event (a lady was sitting two benches away, not caring). So he made the installation. That's what you get in a society that praises automation (I worked doing automation for a big tech corporation, so I know first hand what I'm talking about) where sociopaths/psychopaths take huge amounts of profits in owning these companies and then buying politics, corrupting through oligarchy democracies: people loose empathy. They themselves become a resemblance of the people for which they work: sociopaths, psychopaths and dark triads who do not care for people. They really don't. They don't care if you die. They walk over you without remorse, guilt or shame. It's still incredible we let these people be our leaders when it comes to employment. People who are sunk in shame don't self reflect on this issue. Especially if you live cheque by cheque.

Now I'll head off to an Indian restaurant where I'll have Chana Masala with pilau rice. Then, depending on how much time I've left, I'll explore a bit the city and then head for my train where I'll continue to listen to sociopath by P.G.

Morning 🥱. Slept a few hours. Feeling tired. Have difficulties cognitively. Get my mind lost quickly and can't think through actions. With this said, today's going to be a relaxing, near the capital, adventure. I'll go at the pier and explore the local area. Have coffee and something for my sweet tooth. Head back to the capital. Relax. Have dinner and then come back at the shelter and relax some more. That's it! Nothing fancy. And, I'll get more sleep starting tonight. Hopefully I'll recuperate in 4 nights until I start work again.

Also, happy 200th post!

Today was ok. One thing I learned from my holiday so far is that the capitalist greed runs deep and people are desperate. Prices in small towns that are on par or even more expensive than the restaurants in the * capital. Exception is the Afro-Caribbean restaurant.

I started my morning with a decaf Americano with oat milk and a croissant. Then I walked to the pier and enjoyed the sea for an hour. Seeing tankers at sea transported me to a depressed childhood watching ships at sea and my mom's friend telling me "that on one of them my father works" (not really true). Then I visited the maritime museum. Where it brought back memories. Unexpected appearance was the face and name of Lenin on one of the boards. The small town, overall, brought me memories of my childhood. Which, I went through but didn't enjoy. Too depressing. Afterwards, I had lunch. Food was ok, though, and, as I said, a bit pricey. Then I visited an amusement park-style arrangement by the waterfront. I heard Inside Out theme playing and was a nice surprise. I felt tired and decided to come back to the city. I ate a donut on my way out of the train station and now I'm about to finish drinking my decaf oat latte at my favorite vegan restaurant in the capital, after having read a bit of T.W.

I'll relax for the rest of the day. I hope tonight I'll get some good sleep.

Also, Paolini made it to the final. I think Rybakina will take this year's Wimbledon GS.

They should do one on Gossip Girl and Gilmore Girls

Oh my gosh! Barbora K. defeated Rybakina! I'm so glad when I'm wrong!

Hej! Life's good. Today I had a rough start. Very negative thinking and very judgemental. But it improved once I ate and had a decaf long black with cold oat milk and a pain au chocolat. I then went to the National Gallery where, to my pleasant surprise, they had an exhibition on Women Impressionists (my favorite art movement when it comes to painting). I still had to pay as a person with a disability, though at a reduced price. Worth it. Took some pictures and now I'm relaxing after having read T.W. and drank my decaf oat latte at my favorite restaurant: the vegan restaurant. For lunch I went to a new place, vegan, that specializes in vegan burgers (using beyond meat) - the burger was, actually, really good. Reminded me of the ones I ate at Veggie grill in Seattle, WA, USA.

In a few minutes I'll set to buy dinner. I'll target a salad at a place in the north of city center. I'll wait an hour before eating it so it won't be too early of a meal. And then, drum roll, movie time! Despicable Me 4. Yay. Let's gooo. Also, keeping fingers crossed Alcaraz wins against Medvedev at Wimbledon.

Funny moment. As I was waiting for my bus at the bus stop, a 24-ish year old walks to me, calmly, and asks: "are you looking for any weed, bro?". Took me by surprise as I thought he wants to ask me whether I've spare change or directions to somewhere. I promptly and decisively answered: "No.". He replied: "no bother". Hahaha. Verrucht.

Ate my dinner in a park nearby the cinema and now I'm waiting a few minutes before entering the screen room to see the movie.

Meanwhile, Alcaraz won in 4 sets. Are we going to see another final between him and Djokovic? Oh, yes we are! Mhm! Bring it on! Let's gooo!

💜

Also, as predicted, Djokovic won. And he did it in straight sets. Seems he's in form. The finals will be awesome.

Also, staff made me change the locker to match my new room and new bed. And it's a floor positioned locker 😔 I liked my previous locker which was at my body level and could easily put and grab things in/from it. Oh, well. Another day in paradise.

Back from Farmer's market. I had some vegan Dalma with tofu. It was freaking delicious. Potatoes, green peas, broccoli, rice, tofu, red pepper. Divine. Then I hunted a pain au chocolat (they ran out of croissants) and a decaf Americano with oat milk. Visited the rose garden where I ate, in quiet, my croissant and drank my coffee on the grass. The weather has been great. Now I'm relaxing at the cafe in city center, drinking a cold super smoothie (strawberry, cherry, apple, guarana & flax seeds with vitamins). Unsure what to do for the rest of the day. I think I'll continue to watch YouTube. Particularly women's singles final @ Wimbledon, and, Gilmore Girls therapized on Mended Light channel. I'll have soup for dinner and skip my usual Chana Masala on Saturday at my favorite Indian restaurant. Running out of finances.

Re-ran my finances. And, with a soup for lunch on Monday (which is most likely to happen) at my 💜 vegan restaurant, I am within limits for having Chana Masala, medium spicy with some green chilli and steam basmati rice tonight. Let's do it in style.

P.S. happy 100th post in this thread.